What do you do with the Gideon Bible in the motel room? - best ideas needed

I was thinking about taking a yellow marker to mark up some key disgusting bible passages in the gideon bibles I find, but there are so many.  I might be up all night doing that.  What do you suggest?

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Write little notes like "use reason, not religion" or write down what's wrong with the key passages-I've done this before.

FFRF sells stickers to put on bibles in hotel rooms -- you could try that.

 

http://ffrf.org/shop/stickers-bible-warning-labels/

Put these FFRF stickers all over the bibles!

I have gotten those stickers and done that Steph! :)

I make up  my own stickers before each road trip, I print them of 2X3 inch Avery stickers.

Bill Hicks said it best

Do y'all have different books of the Bible than I do? Are y'all Gideons? Who are the ******' Gideons? Ever met one? NO! Ever seen one? NO! But they're all over the ******' world puttin' Bibles in hotel rooms. Every hotel room- "This Bible was placed here by a Gideon" When?! I been here all day. I ain't seen ****! I saw the housekeeper come and go. I saw the minibar guy come and go. I never laid eyes on a ******' Gideon. What are they- ninjas? Where are they? Where're they from? Gidea? What the **** are these people? 

I'm gonna capture a Gideon. I'm gonna make that my hobby. I'm gonna call the front desk one day. "Yeah. I don't seem to have a Bible in my room." -Bill Hicks

sorry about all the *'s of profanity, he liked to let it flow.  As for what to do with them, I usually just push it back farther in the drawer so I don't have to see it.  However, the FFRF sticker is a great idea.  I can just see all the angry gideon faces :)

Another Bill Hicks fan? Awesome.

As for what to do with it? I'll bet it's great for swatting roaches, silver fish, and house flies.

Need some privacy from room service and housekeeping? Just wedge that sucker in the bottom crack of the door and make a handy dandy doorstop!

People making too much noise in the parking lot at night? I'll bet it is heavy enough to make a nifty keen projectile if you have a good throwing arm.

The possibilities are limitless! 

The bibles in hotel rooms are gifts. Take them and toss them into the garbage can as you leave the room.

Are those thin onionskin pages good for rolling fatties?  If not a smoker of any sort, how about origami?  Personally, I've just chucked it a few times and covered it with trash so no one would come along and rescue the thing.  How about inserting little markers throughout with catchy phrases like "incest", "murder", "wife-pimping", "child abuse", "Hung Like a Horse", etc., for handy reference for the next person to check it out?  

Write a little note on the inside front cover, a la Joe Orton, saying: "If you like the idea of having sex with your daughter, this book should appeal to you," and direct them to the story of Lot and Sodom.  Do not tell them that this particular geographic region was prone to explosions of mephitic gas seeping up from the desert floor, and whatever you do, try not to read between the lines that Lot lied about the pillar of salt; he just left her behind.  The sin of Sodom was its xenophobia: you did not refuse a traveler your wife for the night, and Sodom was well known to the nomadic tribes as an inhospitable city.  Now, be sure that the following is included in whatever you write in the inside front cover: "Although some would have you believe the Sodomites were homosexuals, they were like Governor Brewer of Arizona, and isn't it a bit silly to think God would condemn gays in the same chapters of Genesis where He blesses the sexual union of Lot with his own daughters?"

I recall staying at a motel where the Gideon had the most profane markings in ink, things like "This book is a crock of shit!" and "Every word is a Lie" and "There is no God, he is bullshit," and so forth.  My only thought was, surely the management divides rooms up between smoking and non-smoking and they try to read the guest to decide for themselves whether you are a believer or an asshole.  They put thusly marked Gideons in all the rooms where the assholes stay.  That way, we feel right at home.

Get a copy of Penn & Teller's book How to Play in Traffic. There's a great trick you can do with a Gideon's Bible with some disappearing ink, the bible, a deck of cards, and a clothes iron. It's funnier than hell. Oh sorry. Funnier than gehenna, the bottomless pit, inferno, and the underworld.

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