What do you do with the Gideon Bible in the motel room? - best ideas needed

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Permalink Reply by Elena Sandry on February 14, 2012 at 8:25pm

Write little notes like "use reason, not religion" or write down what's wrong with the key passages-I've done this before.

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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on February 14, 2012 at 8:36pm

FFRF sells stickers to put on bibles in hotel rooms -- you could try that.

 

http://ffrf.org/shop/stickers-bible-warning-labels/

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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on February 22, 2012 at 8:30pm

Put these FFRF stickers all over the bibles!

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Permalink Reply by Jessica on February 14, 2012 at 9:00pm

Bill Hicks said it best

Do y'all have different books of the Bible than I do? Are y'all Gideons? Who are the ******' Gideons? Ever met one? NO! Ever seen one? NO! But they're all over the ******' world puttin' Bibles in hotel rooms. Every hotel room- "This Bible was placed here by a Gideon" When?! I been here all day. I ain't seen ****! I saw the housekeeper come and go. I saw the minibar guy come and go. I never laid eyes on a ******' Gideon. What are they- ninjas? Where are they? Where're they from? Gidea? What the **** are these people? 

I'm gonna capture a Gideon. I'm gonna make that my hobby. I'm gonna call the front desk one day. "Yeah. I don't seem to have a Bible in my room." -Bill Hicks

sorry about all the *'s of profanity, he liked to let it flow.  As for what to do with them, I usually just push it back farther in the drawer so I don't have to see it.  However, the FFRF sticker is a great idea.  I can just see all the angry gideon faces :)

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Permalink Reply by Nathan A. Stapleton on February 14, 2012 at 10:30pm

Another Bill Hicks fan? Awesome.

As for what to do with it? I'll bet it's great for swatting roaches, silver fish, and house flies.

Need some privacy from room service and housekeeping? Just wedge that sucker in the bottom crack of the door and make a handy dandy doorstop!

People making too much noise in the parking lot at night? I'll bet it is heavy enough to make a nifty keen projectile if you have a good throwing arm.

The possibilities are limitless! 

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Permalink Reply by heretic zero on February 22, 2012 at 4:28pm

The bibles in hotel rooms are gifts. Take them and toss them into the garbage can as you leave the room.

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Permalink Reply by Dorris Journeay on February 22, 2012 at 5:46pm

Are those thin onionskin pages good for rolling fatties?  If not a smoker of any sort, how about origami?  Personally, I've just chucked it a few times and covered it with trash so no one would come along and rescue the thing.  How about inserting little markers throughout with catchy phrases like "incest", "murder", "wife-pimping", "child abuse", "Hung Like a Horse", etc., for handy reference for the next person to check it out?  

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Permalink Reply by James M. Martin on February 22, 2012 at 7:03pm

Write a little note on the inside front cover, a la Joe Orton, saying: "If you like the idea of having sex with your daughter, this book should appeal to you," and direct them to the story of Lot and Sodom.  Do not tell them that this particular geographic region was prone to explosions of mephitic gas seeping up from the desert floor, and whatever you do, try not to read between the lines that Lot lied about the pillar of salt; he just left her behind.  The sin of Sodom was its xenophobia: you did not refuse a traveler your wife for the night, and Sodom was well known to the nomadic tribes as an inhospitable city.  Now, be sure that the following is included in whatever you write in the inside front cover: "Although some would have you believe the Sodomites were homosexuals, they were like Governor Brewer of Arizona, and isn't it a bit silly to think God would condemn gays in the same chapters of Genesis where He blesses the sexual union of Lot with his own daughters?"

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Permalink Reply by James M. Martin on February 22, 2012 at 6:57pm

I recall staying at a motel where the Gideon had the most profane markings in ink, things like "This book is a crock of shit!" and "Every word is a Lie" and "There is no God, he is bullshit," and so forth.  My only thought was, surely the management divides rooms up between smoking and non-smoking and they try to read the guest to decide for themselves whether you are a believer or an asshole.  They put thusly marked Gideons in all the rooms where the assholes stay.  That way, we feel right at home.

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Permalink Reply by Pat on February 22, 2012 at 8:42pm

Get a copy of Penn & Teller's book How to Play in Traffic. There's a great trick you can do with a Gideon's Bible with some disappearing ink, the bible, a deck of cards, and a clothes iron. It's funnier than hell. Oh sorry. Funnier than gehenna, the bottomless pit, inferno, and the underworld.

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Permalink Reply by The Doubter on February 22, 2012 at 8:46pm

I get really irritated by the obligatory bible in hotels/motels, this is just another way society is integrated with historically biased religious practices.
In fact a created a spin off to my blog to find out what people do or were they have found the bible….sometimes I leave a secularist book as an alternative. :)

www.takethebiblechallenge.blogspot.com

 

Love for people to leave comments on what they did. :)

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Permalink Reply by Richard ∑wald on February 26, 2012 at 5:55pm

Burn it, ...just a l'l bit, and put it back.

Or ...just before you check out:

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