Thanksgiving is past, and, on December first, I always hang our "Advent Calendar" on the wall in the family room near the fireplace.  The calendar is fringed burlap with a large, green felt tree in the middle.  There are 24 red buttons sewn on the tree. 


This was a handmade gift from a dear friend many years ago before I even had children, and my children are now ages 22 and 28. 


Each day from December 1st through December 24th, a colorful felt ornaments is taken from a pocket on the calendar, and that ornament is hung on one of the red buttons on the felt tree.  There are a snowflake, a drum, a bugle, a holly leaf, a wreath, a snowman, a candy cane, Santa, a reindeer, and so on. 


Pocket number 24 always contains "baby Jesus" in half a walnut shell.


I'm fine with most of the colorful and whimsical symbols of the make-believe and romance associated with the season, but will admit that I feel somehow uncomfortable about "baby Jesus".

Upon analysis, I think my discomfort is because it seems fine for adults to enjoy "Let's pretend" with children and even with each other in connection with holidays, but Christians separate the myth of Jesus from all the rest, and deny that the "Jesus story" is as much a fable as that of he elves, the North Pole, Frosty, and Rudolph.


So...I wondered how other atheists handle the Christmas season, in big ways and in little ways. 


I'm particularly curious about those of you who have young children.  Do you engage in any seasonal make believe with them?  Do you introduce them to any of the cultural symbols of the season?  If so, do you avoid the manger and wise men and star of Bethlehem?

Views: 2258

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

We decorate a tree, make turkey dinner, give gifts, play soft symphonic/classical music, burn the fireplace, shovel snow if needed, & enjoy a quiet time together. We don't find anything religious in any of this, & we do it because we like to, & if we didn't, we wouldn't.

We happen to live in a Canadian area that is gorgeous in winter, so we like to take time to enjoy the beauty as well as the days beginning to get longer.

We did the Santa thing when the kids were little, but it was always a fantasy which they out-grew by school age, as they did the other fairy tales.

Now as they are all adults, we enjoy the time alone because they live in different cities. My youngest will come here occasionally as he's the closest but it's no biggie if he doesn't want to travel in winter. We don't travel either because we don't drive & Greyhound can be a nuisance.

Our neighbors also rely on us to look after their cats because they usually leave town every year, & it's been like this for 25 years. (Not the same cats of course.) We've never been a fan of leaving the house empty in winter so with the neighbors gone, it would leave both empty if we went away too. That's the ''tradition'' here.

We do things we like to do & not because it follows any ''norm'', & having a little ''sun'' could replace your ''baby.'' Just sayin'.........












Patricia, that all sounds so appealing. How I would love to live where snow is a usual winter event!

Could I ask, were you an atheist when your children were little? If so, did you introduce them to any of the religious symbols that other people associate with the holiday?

I agree that the Santa fantasy is fine if presented in the spirit of fun and make believe, like puppet play or tea parties with dolls, or any other fantasy play.

Always been atheist, even though grew up moron. My husband grew up in standard presbyterian, but by the time we met each other, we we're both atheist although not really ''out'' mostly because the subject hardly ever came up in daily conversations with anyone. If it did, we just said we were non-believers as we never covered anything up if asked.

We were at the live & let live attitude for years, but we never introduced our kids to churches or any of the nonsense. We had been told a few times by busybodies that the kids should go to church to learn about religion, but I put my foot down & flatly stated I'd never send my kids someplace I wouldn't go to myself. They could make their decisions when they were old enough to do so, but I was NOT sending them anywhere to do it when they were under adult age....which here is 19.

My sons are atheist, but my daughter fell in love, & got thoroughly brainwashed after she got married. Unfortunately, she was never a questioner & now she's got that arrogant, self-righteous, holier than thou, air about her, which is not impressive! 

We've stated flatly the subject has to stay closed or being civil will be a problem in our getting along. She lives several hours away from us which I think is a good thing because I do think we have to get along, & being closer could be an issue.

We don't do solstice together, because we couldn't stand the crowd she has at her place with so many kids, her husband`s family, & the smothering religion just seeping out of the walls. The last time we visited was not winter of course, but we stayed at a hotel. Much better for everyone.

As for our beautiful winter here at solstice time.....this is where we want to be.

We put up a tree and some other decorations.  At some point, I will probably break out Handel's Messiah, Britten's Ceremony of Carols and Rejoice in the Lamb and a few other classics.  My wife has already been out shopping (I do most of mine online), and we'll open presents with her family early because she and I are going to Sun City, Arizona to spend a week with my mom.  Oh, and instead of a turkey, my wife, mom and I will likely each have a stuffed Cornish hen to ourselves.  We've done that a few years running and it has worked out quite well.

Generally, we have a pretty good time, and I don't see that this year should be any different.

When my parents were alive, I visited them, gave them gifts, and looked at Xmas as a family moment.  I don't have children of my own, so that's not an issue.

My "second family", functional or dysfunctional, is in the workplace.  We have pretty rigid rules about not instigating controversies, so I let things slide there too.

At home, my partner is not US raised, or even Western raised, so views Xmas as a sort of exotic American holiday, and is pretty happy about the whole thing.   So I get to view it through his eyes, and it makes me more tolerant in general.  Not helpful for other folks on how to deal with their families, but each to their own.

Have a happy holiday regardless of how you spend it!

My kids are 19 and 21 now, but we never even mentioned "Jesus", etc.  They heard about it whenever they heard about it, but we just did fun and Santa Claus!  My Mom did the same with my sister and I.  We just all get together now and have a good meal, visit, give presents, and have fun.  Holidays are just for fun for us.

Looks like all the respondents, so far, are quite comfortable celebrating Christmas as a secular holiday tailored to their own tastes, without apology. 


That's pretty much my position, though I am often thrown together with very devout family members at holiday times.  If any of those who know that I'm an atheist should question me, I'll tell them to check their email because I'll send them an "essay" I wrote a few years back explaining why an atheist would choose to celebrate Xmas.


I was interested in Loren saying he listens to the Messiah, Ceremony of Carols, and so on.  I have an atheist friend who enjoys singing Amazing Grace.  While I'm not sure, I think she just substitutes in her mind her own concepts of "grace" and being "saved", which have nothing to do with religion.


E.O. Wilson, ant expert, evolutionary biologist and atheist was raised a Southern Baptist.  In one of his books, his autobiography, I think, he tells of hearing a gospel choir sing after a service at Harvard.  He was astonished to find himself weeping.  He comments: "My people, I thought. My people."


Just curious-- are there any who boycott or ignore Xmas completely?

Music is just music.....nothing more, nothing less.....but personally, I can't stand ''amazing grace'' as it's the one heard for every damn thing & the words make me barf, to put it politely!

We don't play the carols either as they're all the same no matter who does them & frankly I get bored with the same old same old, which are played absolutely everywhere! I won't play them at home & we don't watch the tv shows either.

Handel's Messiah was in my house since I was a kid (with the Philadelphia Orchestra and Mormon Tabernacle Choir, no less!), and we sang parts of it in high school for the yearly Christmas Concert.  I learned the Britten Ceremony at roughly the same time and enjoyed it for the beauty of the music that Britten set those old English words to.  Fact is, I still think that the Messiah's "Comfort Ye" is a treat for any tenor soloist, and I will occasionally sing along with it when I have it cued up on my stereo system.

I find that mostly, I don't care what the words say.  It's what the MUSIC says that moves me most times.

I don't celebrate Christmas.

We have no young children at home, but I do understand the last part of your post. Imagining young kids at Christmastime trying to tell me things about Jesus, I simply would say to them "you really think so, then look it up on the Internet." Kids today are smarter than you think at a very young age, and they even use the Internet at school early on.

As for the season itself, I lived in Texas as a widower for a time, having a girlfriend who told me every year that I needed a tree, gifts under it, and the whole mess. I reminded her that I lived alone and there were no small children around. Then I asked her if I should buy presents for myself, wrap them up and put them under the tree, pretending that I didn't know what they were? (She never did get it.) As for trees and decorations I told her that if I missed them, I could simply look out my door and view what the neighbors had. (She didn't get that either.) Anything to get me to do what everybody else was doing. That's the way theists are even if none of this really has anything to do with Jesus.

So, today my Kenyan wife and I may or may not have a tree, may or may not have a big dinner, etc. I leave it all up to her. After all, how much frigging turkey can you eat? Every year at this time is different than the last one for us. Kenya has no snow to speak of, and we do not watch "christmas programs" on TV. I don't give a damn about an "angel getting it's wings" or any other popular movie of the war years. As a Luo, my wife knows nothing of Santa and that big myth, but she is learning about our big exaggerated holidays here.

For those who would call me "Scrooge" (and some have) I invite them to read Dickens and see what that was all about and why the man became as he did. Most Americans don't get it. We hear about Scrooge every year and most believe he was an old man who was simply afraid to turn loose of that money at Christmastime. The merchants love that idea and they push it.

Mostly at my house this time of year, my wife calls the shots.

"Silver bells. Something smells

I think it's coming from the city

Ding a ling. You ding a ling

Soon it will be Christmas day."

Briefly: I (no "we") put out a few "Christmassy" candles and bells for seasonal decoration. It's hard to ignore traditions. Nothing "religious". And, like Loren, I play a lot of Bach and Handel oratorios, just because I like the music. I never did listen to the words (including Amazing Grace).


Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today



Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon




© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service