Please to be regaling us with your favorite puns. I'll start:

A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.

Tags: puns, punsters need love too, very punny

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For all who have difficulty converting units:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1
bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour =
Knotfurlong

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

365.25 days = 1 unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

52 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

4 nickels = 2 paradigms

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University
Hospital = 1 IV League
More of the same

I like this one: Helen of Troy (from the Iliad) is widely known as "the face that launched a thousand ships". Thus, 1 millihelen is the amount of beauty needed to launch a single ship.
I must find a way to use that in regular conversation one day.
Heh. Some paradigms are only worth a nickel.

Thanks Louis, that was puntastic!
1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles


Wrong. one trillion microphones = one megaphone. and *one* million bicycles = 2 megacycles.
Hehehe. Good catch.
This is my 6 y.o. favorite pun:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you three chances,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you two more chances,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I'll give you one more chance,
And if you don't behave
I'll turn you into a goon!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head.
I gave you three chances
And you didn't behave
Now you're a goon! POOF!!"

The moral of the story is:
HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW

"HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW"

http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/l007.html
Wow, I can't believe no one got my favorites yet!

The only one I remember off the top of my head:

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger... then it hit me!"
Tsk, not a football fan among you! (not American football, anyway).

And ... since it's 4th down and long, methinks I'm going to drop back 15 yards and PUN...T!
Do you do this just for the pun of it or do you have nothing else to stew all day?
Eagle, come back! I've been stewing!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

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