Vegemite - it's very name brings terror to grown men, but life without it for me would not be worth living. Certainly an acquired taste, and it is much overlooked as an all-purpose culinary delight.

What is it ? It was a food of necessity, originating during the produce scarcity of the Great War. The sludge from the bottom of beer vats is high in nutrients, but was was often simply discarded or used as fertiliser or feed stock. Add one food technologist and one brain explosion and, voila!, you have vegemite.

I actually use it quite a bit in cooking as a salt substitute. It is superb in tomato and meat based italian, most casseroles and soups like minestrone. The hydrolysed yeast protein has the added affect of making cheaper cuts of meat more tender with slow cooking. It is, IMHO, a miracle food - weight for weight, it should be in any true survivalists larder. Now to the recipe -

Eggs a la Cardiac Arrest

Ingredients (variable and to taste)

Thick white toasting bread
The stinkiest, crumbliest cheddar cheese you can find
Spring onions
Ground black pepper
Hot paprika
Dried oregano or mixed Italian herbs
Real butter
(optional, for obsessive carnivores - ham)


* Generously butter bread and thickly smear vegemite on one side

* Combine and whisk eggs, milk, oregano, black pepper and hot paprika

* Thinly slice spring onions

* Heat fry pan with plenty of butter. When it begins to bubble and brown, add spring onions and cook until tender

* Add egg mixture and scramble to desired consistency

* Spoon a generous amount of eggs over vegemite bread. Too much is better than enough.

* Place thick slice of cheddar on eggs and cover with another piece of bread vegemite side down.

* Generously butter outer sides of bread

* Heat a toasted sandwich maker [*] until it's technically "fucking hot"

* Insert sandwiches, close and seal. If you don't have to strain to close it and stuff doesn't ooze everywhere, you aren't doing it right

* Cook until bread is browned to your liking. Don't worry about the noises - it will sizzle, fart, belch and spit dairy fat everywhere. This is a good sign.

* Try and remove sandwiches without breaking them too much and place on serving plates

* Scrape the burnt stuff out off the sandwich maker (trust me, they are the best bits) and garnish sandwiches

* Spoon up all off the crap that has leaked everywhere and spread it onto the rim of the plate

* Throw out sandwich maker because it is probably now a fire / electrocution hazard

* Serve

Best.Hangover.Cure.Ever. Bon apetit.

I have fed this to Merkins, and not only have they survived, they liked it so much they requested encore performances.

[*] - toasted sandwich maker. Don't know how universal they are. They look like this:

The critical thing is the areas that seal the sandwich outline. Everything trapped between them essentially deep fries and is extra crispy. In lieu of one, peasants can make do with a waffle iron or a focaccia press.

Tags: food of the gods, marmite sucks, vegemite

Views: 650

Replies to This Discussion

What does vegemite actually taste like? If it's a beer byproduct I'm imagining malty or very bitter. I'd try it, though.


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