This is my first post here.
I have doubted my belief in the Judeo-Christian god (I was raised in a Baptist household) since I was 16. I know that I am skeptical about the existence of him and other deities, organized religion, and spirituality in general; however, I refuse to truly admit this to myself. Further adding fuel to the fire is that I am gay; while I am not sure I believe in Heaven or Hell, I am still fearful that I will go to Hell for my sexual orientation. As well, my family is all about Christ (at least in bark; their bite ain't on par), so if I told them I am an agnostic with atheist overtones, they would probably scorn me. I am sort of a unicorn of oppressed identities: black, homosexual, non-theistic, and (possibly) genderqueer. I am affirmed in these identities, but am unable to fully embrace them due to my religious upbringing.
What should I do? I am fearful of fully embracing my non-theism and skepticism. I am afraid that I might be wrong in doubting, and will suffer in death (Hell or any other penalties purported by other faith systems). I suppose I might not find the answer here, but I still thought to ask.