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Theism has ruined my life. (A rant of sorts)

Hi, I'm Eric, and I'm 21-years-old.

I am an atheist.

And it isn't surprising that I am, considering how religion has fundamentally ruined my life from the get-go.

I was born in a Conservative Republican, Presbyterian-Christian household. From the start, I was home schooled. For some people, this means gathering in a community of like-minded people, sharing ideas, resources, etc... but not for me. Basically what home schooling amounted to, for me, was unschooling. Which is basically the concept that you learn from your experiences.

Anyway, my parents basically locked my brother and me in our rooms all day with the same toys year after year. We rarely went out, and when we did, it was during the day to the store (usually a health food store) when no kids were around. There were no kids in my neighborhood, when we went to church we'd leave immediately after, so essentially I had no real friends for the first 16 or so years of my life.

Fast forward to now. I should be in college, I should be knee-deep in relationships, and I should be driving to work every day. I should be living. But, I'm not. I am completely at their mercy to this day. I have tried many times to talk to them seriously, but they always turn it into a victim thing on their end and it never gets anywhere. So now, I feel alone, and kind of scared that my life can't get anywhere... I never really had a chance, in retrospect.

So now you can see why I am an atheist (emotionally, anyway)--I never went to real school, never had friends as a kid and was home all day, because of a book written 2,000 years ago that tells you to worship a cosmic jewish zombie, and right-wing conspiracy theories spouted by Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and the like. Thanks, Christianity! You're the best!

P.S. Any advice would be nice.

Tags: christianity, conservative, cult, horsepoo, nonsense, religion, right-wing, toxic

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Permalink Reply by ChrisC on March 29, 2012 at 10:27am

Congratulations, sounds like yours turned out well. :-D

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Permalink Reply by booklover on March 29, 2012 at 1:34pm

Thanks Chris, I think they did! Our fundie neighbors can't get over the fact that we heathens turned out such great adults! lol. Sounds like you're pretty terrific yourself! BTW both my kids are Atheists also. And my husband, although being raised catholic, I sometimes think he's more Agnostic. Open-minded though!

Permalink Reply by Joseph Heston on July 10, 2012 at 7:13pm

It may be too late to turn them in for child abuse, but it's never too late to start looking for nursing homes for them (especially nursing homes with a bad reputation, which why parents should always be nice to their children). Of course, it's never too late to give your father a right cross.

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Permalink Reply by Kim D on July 14, 2011 at 10:04am

Wow, that does suck. Start getting your ducks in a row and planning your exodus. Might take a little time, but you seem to have the desire to make it happen. I like coffeycake's advice on finding a job and a roomie. I think people advertise for roommates in the paper or maybe online. Hopefully knowing that things will change will give you some relief emotionally. Hang in there, dude.

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Permalink Reply by Astaroth on October 29, 2011 at 5:47pm

Thanks!

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Permalink Reply by booklover on July 14, 2011 at 3:04pm

Eric, I'm sorry this happened to you. I've homeschooled my son since 4th grade. He is now 17. Has lots of friends both homeschooled and not, religious, and not. He would like to meet more girls though! lol. He is going to start community college in the spring, you just take the entrance exams here in IL, and start classes. Can you do that where you live? We have friends who unschooled (we did a mixture of different techniques) and their 20-year old son is doing great in community college. You could even get a GED. Can you really just find a way to put some distance between yourself and home for awhile and gain some new experiences? You sound like a really smart guy and you are a nice-looking young man. I'm sure you can make a great future for yourself! Best of luck to you!!!

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Permalink Reply by mojo5501 on July 15, 2011 at 1:38pm

Welcome and feel free to 'vent' here with fellow freethinkers. You don't need to feel alone. What you've said reminds me of what it would be like to live a 'cloistered life', not a REAL life. I am the mother of a 16 year old and a 20 year old and have raised them without religion. As a parent, it is painful to know that they've had to struggle with bullying and with being 'different'...but because they've survived it all beautifully so far, I have to know that they are stronger people because of their experiences. I couldn't always 'save them'...and it taught them to be self-reliant, I think. It almost sounds like your parents were protective to the point of emotional suffocation...the term "emotionally atheist" that you used, made me wonder what you meant exactly by that? Empty?

It is time to think about getting a plan in your mind to distance yourself from what you see as 'unhealthy' living and define the kind of life you want. I would definitely agree that moving out and living on your own or with a room mate is the direction to shoot for. But I know the economy is terrible for people in your age range. It's bad everywhere but young adults are really struggling to find full-time jobs with wages to support themselves.

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Permalink Reply by Astaroth on October 29, 2011 at 5:43pm

Ah, yes. Perhaps that was worded poorly on my part--I meant, you can understand why I became an atheist, from an emotionally standpoint, as opposed to an intellectual standpoint... which is something else altogether for me. The two combined were dealbreakers, for sure.

Thanks for your support.

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Permalink Reply by Eric on July 16, 2011 at 2:35am

I think that theism has been extremely detrimental to all of our lives because of its influence on human progress. Without theism, we could have so many things and the world would be so much farther ahead than it is today. While this is slightly on a less personal level than in your situation, many people have done nothing with their lives because of theism, which in my opinion, is just as bad, or worse than what happened to you. I think that if it's important to you, you should research and learn on your own or with other people. Talk to your parents and be straightforward with them. Explain to them what your desires are, explain how they are restricting you, tell them to let you choose for yourself and ask them if they trust you to make the right decision. Your parents seem to be extremely religious, so I would strongly advise you not to confront them on issues of the actual religion, because that will only hurt your relationships. While it's sad that this excuse has to be used, tell them, even it is a lie, that you're not an atheist, but an agnostic, and that you want to look out into the world on your own to "discover god for yourself." While most of this is probably not true, it would be convincing to religious people. Do what you can to move out and get away from them and do what you missed out on.

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Permalink Reply by mojo5501 on July 16, 2011 at 8:14am

I agree with everything said above and I want to add that it's only 'natural' for the young to leave the nest and this could be an argument in itself... you need to discover your own path and your parents will hopefully support this decision as a common, normal, and expected behavior on your part.

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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on July 16, 2011 at 8:25am

You need to find a way to move your life forward.

Not knowing what your skills are it's hard to say much. Looks like you are literate and know the internet.

Like The Nerd I joined the military and that worked for me too, but that was another generation ago and a different war. GED is also an important step, you need that to begin a legitimate education. With the recession economy finding a job is hard, but ultimately you need to be able to get by. If you have other family maybe they can help. Good luck to you!

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Permalink Reply by Astaroth on October 29, 2011 at 5:41pm

Y'know, if I still believed in god, I would probably think I'm cursed.

Firstly, I'd actually love to join the military. The problem is... I suffer from Celiac Disease, an autoimmune disorder which, when wheat products are consumed, causes the immune system to attack its own cells, which could have potentially fatal results. And, just my luck, the military doesn't accept recruits with this disease. :-/

Oh, and as far as other family goes... I really don't have any. :-/

Thanks for the advice.