My mom often says that I must go to synagogue simply because I must show respect for the family. They say they want the family to be there as a whole (Parents + Sister + Me). How should I counter this?

Views: 28

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

You clearly don't understand reform Judaism. (That's okay, I don't expect you to.) Basically, the only thing in the torah we're taught to believe is 100% true is the existence of God in the first place. We're taught that the torah should be taken "seriously, not literally". :) Of course, when we're young, we're taught all the stories and stuff. But as we get older, we start to look at modern archaeology and what that says about the stories in the Bible.

Then again, the more orthodox your synagogue gets, the more literalist it gets as well. Chasidim believe every word from cover to cover, and in many ways, act like conservative Christians, proselytizing and such (which was a surprise to me when I went to Israel).
You're right about me not knowing about Jews. I don't think I know a single practising one.

However, I'm pretty sure even in the doctrines of whichever Judaism ideas this church follows, you could find some contradictions, or problematical ideas/statements/teachings/etc.

But I dunno, you're more familiar with this stuff.

Have you tried talking to the synagogue leaders about your position?
Probably...but since jewishness is based more on traditions and less on beliefs, it's harder to find contradictions.

And---what do you mean? How would that help me?
It's just... not all places of worship are too welcoming to those that do not believe or have different beliefs.
Well, my family's synagogue is very welcoming of everyone, so...

Yeah...in fact, about half of the sunday school graduates are nontheists :)
I was in this same position. Simply put, your only option is to dig your feet in and say no. I did this at the age of 16, and if anything, regret not being even more firm. To this day, my family and I are still on good terms because I didn't grow up hating them for draging me to temple.
Spanky I see your point, but I think Mom gets some MOM POINTS for doing all the MOM things that MOMS do. I'm sure she respects things too, like his taste in music, girls, his (probably somewhat- as all teenage boys have) goofy friends, on and on and on. I think Mom gets to carry on the tradition in her home, and since she isn't shoveling the Torah down anyone's throat, there really is no fight. Its just boring.
I think you should be persistent about not going. If it was just the high holy-days then that would be a different matter, but I realized that was the case given that passed a couple of months ago.

I think the only thing that I missed about the religion was Passover. But it certainly wasn't because I liked the seder.
I like the argument that if your mom asks you to go, you go. That having been said, you can also add the 'poison pill' technique. That means that you go to synagogue and change things to suit your views. This 'poison pill' is oddly well-received in Jewish circles.
For reference - hujews.org is a youth group and also reference the parent organization www.shj.org

These organizations are secular jews and won't get you out of synagogue but can at least put a naturalistic spin on things to make the visit more palatable.

In the end, you're defering to your mother's wishes (which is a good thing) and when you get out of the house you can do your own thing.

Jason
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by the poison-pill technique.
It's ok to ignore that part. "poison pill" means to make a normally good option unpleasant. In this case, your parents might want you to be religious, but it won't be so nice when you choose to be religious in your own way.
She's bullying you.

You'll be a part of your family whether you go or not. Is she doing it because she's afraid of what other people might say to her? Is she saying these things out of fear? Tell her exactly why you don't attend synagogue. If it's out of personal conviction, you've got to do what's right. If going, to you, is going against your convictions, tell her this. Tell her that insisting you go because of the fear of what others might say is also against your personal convictions.

Does family mean you all must lie in order to appear a certain way to others? Is that your belief? Then go. If not, you can go, but it would be a lie.

RSS

CONNECT WITH ATHEIST NEXUS

Latest Activity

Debra Stevenson commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends
"Yes, not everyone thanks a deity for their survival and nobody should thank their god for a vicious tornado that wiped out so much of what people owned and even took lives, especially the lives of innocent children.    Brandi Amari Williams"
2 hours ago
Joan Denoo commented on Joan Denoo's album
Thumbnail

Tunisian women

"Tunisian women, dressed in traditional styles protest "
2 hours ago
sk8eycat commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends
"Tony, I love that clip! "Wolf Gets Blitzed"...tee-hee.  Did anyone read the comments below the You Tube version?  they were almost all like, "Yeah, thank the lard for sending a ghastly tornado to kill more than 50…"
3 hours ago
Profile IconParis Mallon, Akron SSA and Marisa Goode joined Atheist Nexus
3 hours ago
The Flying Atheist commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends
"Great clip, Tony.  People need to realize that not everybody superfluously and automatically thanks god in a time of crisis.  Maybe he's learned a lesson and become a smarter man. "
4 hours ago
Natalie A Sera commented on Dallas the Phallus's group LINGUAPHILES & SESQUIPEDALIANS
"And then, just to confuse things, there's polymath, which is from the Greek poly = much and manthanein = to learn. So, someone who knows a lot. Or at least enough to know that you can get a second crop from that field! Sorry, couldn't…"
4 hours ago
Patricia commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends
"Yaaaay Joan!!! Yaaaay here too.....our exterior renos start Wednesday!!!!"
4 hours ago
Tony Carroll commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends
"           Wolf Blitzer. Open mouth, insert foot. LOL!!!"
4 hours ago

Photos

Loading…
  • Add Photos
  • View All

© 2013   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service