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The Greatest Conspiracy of Our Time!

The Greatest Conspiracy of Our Time

The Tea Party and Occupywallstreet – The Illuminati Are In Control

I am not usually the kind of person who believes in conspiracies. Normally, a conspiracy, especially a large one, is so difficult to keep together that few true conspiracies survive. But, I have identified a most disturbing trend in American politics. I am compelled to speak out. Please my friends, if I mysteriously disappear soon you will know why.

I believe there must be a powerful controlling elite that is behind both the Tea Party and the Occupywallstreet movements. Perhaps it is the Illuminati. I will investigate this further and update you in the future… if I survive.

And… what evidence do I have for this assertion? It is all too clear to me. The Tea Party and Occupywallstreet agree on far too many things for it to be a coincidence. Sure, one can observe that the lunatics on both sides are different. The Tea Party has Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter while Occupy have Michael Moore and Noam Chomski. Indeed, their lunatics are different, but they agree on almost EVERYTHING ELSE! Below is a list. I fear for the future…

They both think Obama is a traitor
They both fell asleep during their high school ”Government” class
They both fell asleep during their college “Economics” class
They both misquote and misunderstand the following statesmen: Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Payne, John Adams, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln
They both have a paranoid hatred of the Federal Reserve Bank
They both have a paranoid hatred of the Food and Drug Administration
They both think fluoride in the water is a government conspiracy
They are the two groups that collect the greatest money from government (Seniors on Medicare and Youth on unemployment)
They both have simplistic ideas for fighting terror (Tea Party: kill more Muslims, Occupy: hug more Muslims)

Tags: conspiracy, idoiots, illuminati, lunatics, occupy, party, tea

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Permalink Reply by x Secular X Combatant x on October 15, 2011 at 6:14pm

ha. follow the money
hold accountable is the only way...

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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on October 15, 2011 at 7:19pm

It might be the polar opposite of immuminati. Maybe the enstupifati?

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Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on October 15, 2011 at 8:33pm

"Please my friends, if I mysteriously disappear soon you will know why."

Yes, and if my replies mysteriously disappear, does that mean there is a conspiracy going on here too?

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Permalink Reply by The Nerd on October 17, 2011 at 10:23am

It's true. Also, atheists and gun-lovers are funded by the same invisible leadership. We both want to keep the government from forming a national registry of our people. We both believe our position is protected under the Bill of Rights. We both even held our conventions (Skepticon and a gun show) under the same roof: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bug_girl/5199218003/ I am compelled to speak out. Please my friends, if I mysteriously disappear soon you will know why.

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Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on October 17, 2011 at 11:15am

Yeeeaaaahhhh.... I've never met an atheist funded by "invisible leadership". Where's my funding? Any Illuminati out there want to throw some dollars at me?

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Permalink Reply by TK on October 27, 2011 at 9:50pm

Where's this mysterious funding coming from and where can I sign up? LOL

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Permalink Reply by Sassan K. on October 17, 2011 at 10:39am

lololololoololol

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Permalink Reply by Rob van Senten on October 17, 2011 at 12:19pm

Hahaha John D, well done, Sir, well done!

I personally like Chomsky, because he eloquently explains his position in a clear and concise manner (albeit it a tad bit boring). I do not always agree, which is nothing new, I suppose.

The simplicity that exists within both ideologies is striking, I'm sure that there are some thoughtful intelligent people in both movements, but fuck, what stupidity. We're all entitled to our opinions, sure, but some of these people are lunatics. If this movement is going to work, I suppose the moderates will have to outdo those nutcases in volume, it's going to be a shouting match to remember..

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Permalink Reply by Wiley Coyote on October 26, 2011 at 12:32pm

No way. You didn't use the CAPS LOCK key, so it can't be true.

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Permalink Reply by John D on October 26, 2011 at 12:44pm

You also missed the mistake... It is spelled "Paine"... not "Payne".

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Permalink Reply by George on October 26, 2011 at 3:42pm

Comparing Noam Chomski with Coulter and Beck is ridiculous.

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Permalink Reply by John D on October 26, 2011 at 4:58pm

You mean the Chomsky who said this?

"I have been writing about terrorism for 25 years always using the official U.S. definition [of the word 'terrorist'], but that definition is un-usable, and the reason is that when you use that definition it turns out, not surprisingly,that the U.S is one of the leading terrorist states, and the other states become terrorist or non-terrorist depending on how they are relating to U.S. goals."

Or this...

"Putting second-order complexities to the side, for the USSR the Cold War has been primarily a war against its satellites, and for the US a war against the Third World. For each, it has served to entrench a particular system of domestic privilege and coercion."

Or this...

"As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action arise, human science is at a loss."

Or this....

“If the Nuremberg laws were applied, then every post-war American president would have been hanged.”