Spouse Praying for your Death

My wife is a fundamentalist christian with extremely strong beliefs. Needless to say, we can get into some heated debates over the topic. Like when to tell our kids that Santa doesn't really exist (she believed in Santa until the 7th grade, WTF?). 

So anyway, in 2008 I came down with a couple of non-lifethreatening conditions, one of which required surgery. A few weeks after the surgery we got into one of our discussions. I ended the discussion by just not responding anymore, and went to bed.

About an hour later she comes up stairs and wakes me up. She says that she has something she has to tell me. So I listen, and she admits to "Praying to god, while I was sick, for me to pass away if I wasn't meant for her. And if I didn't pass away, then we were meant to be together for life." 

I've approached two friends with this that are Christians, one of them said it shows her love and dedication for me. While the other thinks she's insane. Both of these friends attend church every sunday.

I feel it's the same as praying for my death. My wife disagrees, and blows it off.

What do you think?

Tags: atheist, death, pray, wife

Views: 46

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by §kürrý on February 18, 2010 at 2:51pm
Deal breaker. We aren't meant for each other.
See ya.

/2cents
Permalink Reply by Tom Thompson on February 18, 2010 at 2:57pm
What do I think?

Divorce her. This will leave her with quite a dilemma about why god answered her prayer but didn't leave you "together for life". Maybe it will cause her to question her faith.
Permalink Reply by Jason Spicer on February 19, 2010 at 1:41am
Now that is some harsh, harsh logic. But yeah, it should cause her to question her faith. Or make her head pop off.
Permalink Reply by Tom Thompson on February 19, 2010 at 9:38am
Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't trying to be cruel. It just sounds like an impossible situation to me.
Permalink Reply by Tezzie on February 19, 2010 at 1:40am
I don't think that praying for your death is what she intended. I think what she wanted was a sign from her sky man to show her if the relationship should carry on or not, unfortunately she chose your death as the sign. This sounds selfish to me as it sounds like she may have no regard for your life because she proposed your life or death to be the sign. In my opinion, whether she was praying for your death or was simpy looking for a sign by means of your death, she needs help. It is up to you whether or not you want to stay by her side or not, you cannot take our advice as we aren't really a part of the situation and don't know you or her personally.
Permalink Reply by Tezzie on February 19, 2010 at 1:46pm
Yeah I know, but theists can be a bit odd sometimes. Even if she was only looking for a sign, she proposed his death as the sign, showing her complete disregard for his life. This is not normal and that is why I said she may need help, or a divorce.
Permalink Reply by Colin on February 19, 2010 at 5:28pm
Wow, so... human life is so expendable to her that she'd rather you die instead of God sending Gabriel to you with the divorce papers?
Permalink Reply by Sri on February 22, 2010 at 10:13am
"Praying to god, while I was sick, for me to pass away if I wasn't meant for her. And if I didn't pass away, then we were meant to be together for life."

I don't know about the situation in your family but I think what she wanted to say is that she believed her god wanted you both to stay together. Yes it sounds crazy but try to see it from her perspective. You said she still believe in Santa until she reached 13s. I think it's safe to conclude she's normal enough but is the kind that can't deal with harsh reality. Instead of using her own strength to face the problem, she seeks clues from her god. She interprets almost everything as divine interventions. To her, your illness and recovery must've been clues from god.

She probably didn't realize how crazy that sounded and thought you'd have understood her god's will.
Permalink Reply by Karl Karnadi on February 27, 2010 at 6:29pm
I don't think that she prayed for your death. I seems that the message that she want to say to you is that she saw the fact that you are "healed by God" as a sign that you two are meant to be together for life. It is something special (for her) that she wanted to share with you. So I don't think she is insane or wanted you to be dead.

Of course, having said that, it only says that your wife think that you being healthy again is magical, it doesn't say at all about how much she loves you. And that is the big problem with religion and religious people. People are being taught to give complete submission to the will of God. They relate everything to the bible or God's plan, they can't show their genuine love (which they, your wife, might have). They can only say that God wants you to be a couple, to be together. One must ask, "I know that you know what God wants, but most importantly, what do YOU want?"
Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on February 28, 2010 at 11:35am
Having read the responses, this one appeals most to me. Still, it's not definite. She could have said, if you are not meant to be together, god can make all of your hair fall out. Or god can cover you with boils and scabies. Death is a bit extreme as an answer.

In the final analysis, only you can know if you add up all of the pros and cons, you should be together. If she took care of you while you were sick and has been a good partner, then that's something to consider. If she said, get your own damn dinner, then that's a different situation. Vice versa would also apply. If you can't see taking care of her if she's sick, then maybe you need to think about it.
Permalink Reply by Tru Hepburn on February 27, 2010 at 6:49pm
She wants you to die if not meant for her? Wow! Run!

... oh, and the friend who thinks it shows her love.... Run some more!

I guess you wouldn't want to leave your kids alone with a crazy person... but that really is nuts! And creepy! And did I say nuts! I'm really glad your kids have you. Wow!
Permalink Reply by Michael Lange on February 27, 2010 at 9:29pm
The things that I struggle with the most since she told me is trust and sincerity. She says one thing, but does she really mean that? Or, is that God talking for her? Deep down, is she really wishing I was dead and feeling forced to have to live with me? Or does she genuinely want to be with me? I just don't know.

RSS

© 2013   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service