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Spouse Praying for your Death

My wife is a fundamentalist christian with extremely strong beliefs. Needless to say, we can get into some heated debates over the topic. Like when to tell our kids that Santa doesn't really exist (she believed in Santa until the 7th grade, WTF?).

So anyway, in 2008 I came down with a couple of non-lifethreatening conditions, one of which required surgery. A few weeks after the surgery we got into one of our discussions. I ended the discussion by just not responding anymore, and went to bed.

About an hour later she comes up stairs and wakes me up. She says that she has something she has to tell me. So I listen, and she admits to "Praying to god, while I was sick, for me to pass away if I wasn't meant for her. And if I didn't pass away, then we were meant to be together for life."

I've approached two friends with this that are Christians, one of them said it shows her love and dedication for me. While the other thinks she's insane. Both of these friends attend church every sunday.

I feel it's the same as praying for my death. My wife disagrees, and blows it off.

What do you think?

Tags: atheist, death, pray, wife

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Permalink Reply by Фелч Гроган on February 17, 2010 at 6:46pm

Why are you still married ?

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Permalink Reply by Sonny Mobley on February 17, 2010 at 6:49pm

Woooooooooow. Dude, that's freaking nuts. Dun wanna talk about your wife, but it is what it is. ^^;;;

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on February 17, 2010 at 7:05pm

She seriously prays for your death?!? Who does she love more, you or her deity? [And no, that is NOT a rhetorical question!]

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Permalink Reply by Roy The Infidel on February 17, 2010 at 8:03pm

"So I listen, and she admits to "Praying to god, while I was sick, for me to pass away if I wasn't meant for her. And if I didn't pass away, then we were meant to be together for life."

Sounds to me your wife needs professional help. Where I live (90% are Catholics) people here have this crazy notion of death as something that is willed by their sky daddy.

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Permalink Reply by Secular Forces 2013 on February 17, 2010 at 8:13pm

lord lord lord lord lord
nah nugh nah nugh nah...

it's lyrics from the last Clutch LP

~
sorry to hear she's got a case of the psychosis
life has to move on, forward regardless; as cold as that may sound
you're in America.

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Permalink Reply by Amit Jones on February 17, 2010 at 8:48pm

That's truly unfortunate. I don't know anything about your wife, but she sounds to be very confused, letting your relationship and marriage be based singularly on a decision on high, rather than her love and dedication to it.
Honestly, unless you were in horrendous incurable pain , being tortured with no reprieve, someone who prays for your death might not necessarily have your best interests in mind.
I wouldn't read too much into it, sometimes people just make strange deals with god. Perhaps she felt estranged and was looking for an easy answer. That's the one thing people who believe in god rely on, that it will provide them with some simple answer somehow.

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Permalink Reply by Michael Lange on February 18, 2010 at 9:04am

I told her, at the time, why not just pray for me to meet someone else? Maybe she wanted/needed the life insurance money. Who knows...

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on February 18, 2010 at 12:59pm

I'm safe - keeping under insured does have its advantages.
It really sounds as if she is struggling with the reality of her husband and the religion on which she has based her life. I was asked once (while still under fundie delusional) if I would prefer my Mormon boyfriend of fundie friend die and guess who I chose. The fundie because I knew his 'soul' was safe. It is a strange thing that religion can do to ones brain, but it may be possible she was having a moment of weakness about her faith.
Before people get pissed at me, I'm not agreeing with it or the idea, I'm just trying to look at it from her perspective with the consideration that she knew what you had was not life threatening - it seems she may have been wanting comfort that she was doing the right thing by ignoring the 'unequally yoked' part of her belief. It may not hurt to find out with whom she's been discussing your marital divide.

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Permalink Reply by Chad on February 18, 2010 at 9:35am

That's fucked up dude. It's a good thing that "god meant for you to be together" because otherwise you'd be dead...but hey, at least she would know for certain, right?

Good luck. I wish you the best but remember that life is short.

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Permalink Reply by amer muhammad on February 18, 2010 at 9:53am

Your wife is certainly not a very clever person otherwise she wouldn't have told you that. And unclever persons are good partners. I think She did that out of love for you. If my wife would have said that I would have smiled and loved her more.

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Permalink Reply by Christopher on February 18, 2010 at 10:07am

Dude, I really sympathize with your situation. The one refuge I have when I get all spun up about religious insanity is the fact that my wife and I can talk openly about it and be on the same page. I've told her many times that I would go completely insane if she and I didn't see eye-to-eye on being atheists together. I don't envy you.

Obviously this is just a single snapshot into your relationship with your wife, but the part that's most troubling to me is the fact that she genuinely thinks you would end up in hell if you died from either of your medical conditions, and yet she prayed for it anyway. If I loved someone, and I truly thought their eternal soul was in imminent danger, I would be absolutely pleading with God to give them more time so they could still be reached. Even if I wasn't "meant" to be with them, I still wouldn't wish eternal torment on them just to avoid being "unequally yoked," especially if I thought there was a chance they could be saved.

What do you want to see happen with this relationship?

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Permalink Reply by Meggan Dominytus on February 18, 2010 at 11:09am

Honestly, I personally wouldn't waste my short life dealing with this nonsense. Take it with a grain of salt because I am just a random person on the internet..but really? She thinks and behaves like this? Does she have redeeming qualities that make the marriage worth it to you?