Well, my husband and my kids know I don't believe in god any more but I'm still 'in the closet' IRT my parents and other relatives, and the in laws. I've been journaling some of my thoughts in Word Docs the past week or so, and I'm pretty angry at the hold my religious upbringing still seems to have over me. It's hard to change thought patterns that are ingrained into you from the time you're born till your 30 something. My mom suspects something is up, but she doesn't know the whole story and I've been avoiding the subject with her. There's lots of guilt and drama there- I'm an only child and I just hate the thought of causing her pain by telling her I don't believe. On the other hand, I'm tired of constantly changing the subject when she starts spewing jesus on me, or when she starts saying things that I just can't stand to hear. I've been trying to figure out if it's better to just out myself and deal with the drama and the consequences or if I should just keep nodding and smiling and trying to ignore the comments.
I'm 33 years old, I have four children and I don't live in the same state as my parents or other relatives. I realized that I need to find an atheist community, because I just feel like I'm drowning in the 'supernatural' crap that surrounds me everyday.