Bush Is A Saint ??
President Bush was scheduled to worship at a small Methodist Church
outside Washington, D.C. as part of Karl Rove's campaign to reverse
Bush's rapidly deteriorating approval ratings. A week before the
visit, Rove called on the Methodist Bishop who was scheduled to preach
on the chosen Sunday. "As you know, Bishop," began Rove, "we've been
getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of the
president's position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly
arrange for Jack Abramoff's friends to make a contribution of $100,000
to the church if during your sermon you would say that President Bush
is a saint."
The Bishop thought about it for a few minutes, and finally said, "This
parish is in rather desperate need of funds ... I'll agree to do it."
The following Sunday, Bush pompously showed up for the photo op,
looking especially smug even while attempting to appear pious.
After making a few announcements, the Bishop began his homily:
"George W. Bush is a petty, vindictive, sanctimonious hypocrite and a
nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel with the
world's largest chip on his shoulder. He used every dirty election
trick in the book and still lost, but his toadies in the Supreme Court
appointed him. He lied about his military record in which he used
special privilege to avoid combat, and then had the gall to dress up
and pose on an aircraft carrier before a banner stating "Mission
Accomplished." He invaded a sovereign country for oil and war
profiteering, turning Iraq into a training ground for terrorists who
would destroy our country. He continues to confuse the American people
by insisting on a nonexistent connection between the horrors of 9/11
and the reason he started his war in Iraq. He routinely appoints
incompetent and unqualified cronies to high-level federal government
positions and as a result, hundreds and hundreds of Americans died
tragically in New Orleans. He lets corporate polluters despoil God's
creation and doom our planet. He uses fear-mongering to justify
warrantless spying on American citizens, in clear violation of our
Constitution. He is so psychotic and megalomaniacal that he believes
that he was chosen by God. He is the worst example of a Methodist I
have ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove
and the rest of the evil fascist bastards in this administration,
George W. Bush is a saint.