I have been dealing with very tedious, ongoing physical problems and pain and I still hear a "voice" that says, "God is punishing you and asking you to repent by giving you more pain and suffering."
Seems like my worst pains and problems seem to occur after a pleasurable time, such as making love with my companion or a trip to the beach.
My atheist roommate (not my bf) patiently tells me that this is not happening. He says there are coincidences. I was brainwashed over and over again, as an adult and as a child by fundamentalists and "believers" and people in 12 step programs that "God is teaching lessons".
I went to this meeting today and someone there said, "Pain cleanses the body." OMG (goodness)!
I wonder if there are online atheist meeting chats because so far I can only find available online AA-type groups and I need to get away from them!
I can't afford any more reinforcement like this right now.
I understand that my suffering is not about a deity hurting me.
But the echoes of the fundamentalist training are so loud right now.