Relationships with Non-Atheists

My mother is a devout Christian, my father is an Atheist and they have made it work for over 25 years. My best friend is as Christian as my mother but he and I get along just fine. Is that normal?

I'm interested to hear how people in this community feel about relationships (both romantic and friendly) between Atheists and non-Atheists.

Tags: Relationships, atheists, christians, friends

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Permalink Reply by Byron on January 1, 2009 at 3:52pm
My fiancée is a "freeminded" theist. She doesn't follow any certain religion but believes in God, spirits, prayer, heaven, hell, etc.

When we got together I was a Deist. We had a couple problems (like me believing rationality is the whenbasis of religion), and when I became an atheist, the $hit hit the fan for a while. She told me I was going to hell, and I almost left her. I didn't because she was pregnant with my daughter at the time.

Today, we are happy with a 15 month old daughter and a child on the way. We make it work by mainly staying away from religious and paranormal discussions because she feels like i am attacking when i state a differing opinion than what she believes.

BTW, I have a group for discussing romantic relationships with theists. It can be found here: http://www.atheistnexus.org/group/InterfaithRelationship
Permalink Reply by Draccataura on January 5, 2009 at 5:34pm
Why is it that they always tell you you're going to hell when, as an atheist, you don't believe in hell either?
Permalink Reply by Goz on January 9, 2009 at 5:49pm
I wonder that as well. I have an xtain friend and she gave me the going to hell lecture...I don't know what she expected to happen...That I'd start screaming:"I believe!"
That's all i can think of. I asked her what her idea of hell was and then the discussion drifted to other things.
Permalink Reply by Tedster on January 1, 2009 at 7:30pm
I think that when it does work, it is because of the attitude of both people. I've known many theist, and usually it didn't get in the way.
Permalink Reply by William Young on January 4, 2009 at 7:23am
Anyone who is or who would want to be my friend will find out that there are 4 subjects to refrain from in conversations with me, Sex, Religion, War & Politics. These 4 tend to create conflicts. My friends range from Theists to Atheists and everything in between, my relatives the same way.
Permalink Reply by Zeke on January 7, 2009 at 2:18am
My family is Catholic. Most of my friends are Atheist and agnostic. I have a few really close friends who are Christan, one being my girlfriend. No doubt it is hard, especially since she avoids the subject like the plague. I think its because deep down inside she knows that if she lets me just talk to her about it, her "faith" would wane.
Permalink Reply by Goz on March 5, 2009 at 8:04am
I think she's right...If you marry and have kids though,how will you deal with her trying to brainwash them to be xtains like her though?
Permalink Reply by FreeThinker on March 3, 2009 at 5:23am
I've noticed this about many of my religious friends as well. I'm sure if you asked them what the most important thing is to them, they would reply that it is religion/God. In practice, however, they don't behave as if God is on their minds.
Permalink Reply by Goz on March 5, 2009 at 8:05am
I've noticed that as well...They say one thing,but do another.
Permalink Reply by Thomas on January 10, 2009 at 9:12pm
I have been dating a devout Baptist for almost 2 months now. And it's funny that within the time frame of 2 months I've already had such a large impact on her (unintentionally too). We get along fine and I've been able to get her into thinking for herself more and more. I can honestly say that within a year she will probably not be religious.
Permalink Reply by MissElainie on January 11, 2009 at 11:41am
Like everybody else, I have friends who are theists. How could we not? It's either that or talking to the furniture. But I couldn't passionately love, truly respect, or deeply value a person who is either delusional or really really stupid - and one or the other is required for believers.
Permalink Reply by izumih on March 3, 2009 at 12:44am
I have been in a happy relationship with a nice Mormon boy for about 3 months. We have discussed religion, I am thorughly informed of his beliefs, and he knows I have my doubts. We have never had an argument over this topic, mostly because I know that he is so commited to his church and engrained in the Mormon culture that I must accept the way he is, listen patiently, and try to accept him for who he is. So far as I know, he's okay with my lack of faith, though I suspect he hopes that one day I'll "see the light." I truly love and respect him, though I feel that in the long run, we are incompatible. It seems that everything, from when to get married to how to spend your income to what foods to keep in your pantry, is regulated by the LDS Church, and that is incredibly stifling to me. Is my boyfriend really willing to marry a girl who would not even come to church with him? I think not, and I couldn't do that to him.

I'm sure relationships between atheists and theists are possible, but in my case, his Mormon beliefs are no casual religious affiliation, but an uncompromising way of life. We really are happy, but when I realize how much more I enjoy my time with more liberal/open minded people, I have doubts about our long term success as a couple. I could definitely always see us as friends.

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