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Gulp.
After 42 years of church, praying and belief in a god, I'm 99% atheist. There's just one little nagging thread clinging on, the old "But what if you're wrong?" line. Some teeny part of me that thinks that upon Death, god will say, "WTF?" and banish me to something or hang me by my tongue for eternity.
A little background: My path toward nonbelief has been fueled mostly by science and skepticism, realizing that a lot of what happened in the Bible is not possible due to our laws of science, and if god was able to suspend that, then he/she was being selective and that was cruel. I began to feel as if the stories of Jesus proclaiming himself as the truth and the way was very self-centered. And after reading Bart Ehrman's books, I began to see the imperfections of the bible. I then began to think, "Is ANY of this stuff true?"
I'm reading atheist blogs. I've read Godless and loved it. It all makes sense. So here I am, ready to take a step and say I'm an atheist. I guess my question is: Is this nagging feeling normal? Have other people dealt with this, and if so, what did you do? Or is this even an issue?
After 42 years of church, praying and belief in a god, I'm 99% atheist. There's just one little nagging thread clinging on, the old "But what if you're wrong?" line. Some teeny part of me that thinks that upon Death, god will say, "WTF?" and banish me to something or hang me by my tongue for eternity.
A little background: My path toward nonbelief has been fueled mostly by science and skepticism, realizing that a lot of what happened in the Bible is not possible due to our laws of science, and if god was able to suspend that, then he/she was being selective and that was cruel. I began to feel as if the stories of Jesus proclaiming himself as the truth and the way was very self-centered. And after reading Bart Ehrman's books, I began to see the imperfections of the bible. I then began to think, "Is ANY of this stuff true?"
I'm reading atheist blogs. I've read Godless and loved it. It all makes sense. So here I am, ready to take a step and say I'm an atheist. I guess my question is: Is this nagging feeling normal? Have other people dealt with this, and if so, what did you do? Or is this even an issue?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on -
Huitzilopochtli is worth worshipping based on name alone!
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Permalink Reply by Cheryl on -
In "Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America's Leading Atheists," Dan Barker said that he could still bring up all the old feelings whenever he wanted. You're just bringing up old fearful feelings. They'll always be there, ready to be called up. Dan Barker gained control of them. It just takes time. The important thing is to cross into the awareness of rational thought, and you've done that. I don't think there is a 99% athiest, either you don't believe in God, or you do. Maybe your choice is between agnosticism and atheism. Agnostics just don't know, they don't have proof one way or the other, so they don't know. I'm sure you can find a better definition, but the point is that you may have a crisis of not knowing instead of not believing.
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Permalink Reply by Greg LeGore on -
Cheryl, nicely stated. I think many of us have these thoughts from time to time and I like your definition as a crisis of not knowing instead of not believing.
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Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on
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Yes, the feeling is normal. I've had it and I wasn't even religiously indoctrinated as a child.
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Permalink Reply by Russell Christian on -
Yep, it's normal. Mostly it's from conditioning of society that you have been beaten over the head with in some form or other for all of your life. Give it time, it will fade. Besides, no one really knows 100% for certain, at least no one alive, if there are gods or if there are not. The best we can hope for is your 99%. Well, maybe 99.9% but that's good enough. And there's nothing wrong with keeping an open mind. If someone comes to me saying that they have actual evidence that proves the existence of god then I'm happy to review it and, if compelling enough, change my mind. So far though, that hasn't happened and I don't plan on holding my breath until it does..
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Permalink Reply by Teagraves on -
Ehh well if you're a nice person and you're wrong and get punished, then God's an ass I guess
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Permalink Reply by Secular Forces 2013 on -
LOL. yeah but the hills are alive once again for you are they not?
last I checked Poland, Russia and the Vatican throw in Iran are all on the run!
indeed best country on Earth right here; for worse (that was bush) or better (that's our socialist leader and chief) LOL
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Permalink Reply by Phenix on -
Religion made my life hell on earth, why should it be any different in the afterlife? Abandoning the god delusion improved my life in every way. Teagraves said it, if god is going to punish us just for the mistake of surviving to be born then this is a god not worth worshiping. If you haven't seen the website http://www.whywontgodhealamputees.com/ take a look.
What crushed my fears instantly was this thought. Would you follow ANY organization that would take a 6 year old child and terrorize them to the point of freezing their spirits with stories of punishment? Then when they are adults make them turn around and do the same to their children?
So let's say the odds go against you and every other thinking human who lived and there is a god. We're all planning a cookout by the lake of fire. Everyone will be there Carl Sagan, Albert Einstein, Simone Weil...it will be fun!
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Permalink Reply by Michael Merry on -
Pat Condell described the biblical nonsense known as original sin: "being billed for something I didn't order". Myself, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints (Billy Joel, Only the Good Die Young)
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Permalink Reply by Greg LeGore on
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My wife was previously married to a fundie and said that they and their church members were so awful that she'd not want to be in any permanent afterlife with them - probably many of us know such people.
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Permalink Reply by james schafer on -
It's normal. I was so heavely conditioned as a child that It still runs through my mind sometimes too. My wife wants our kids to go to church (she is christian) but since she works on Sundays and I am at home with the kids I never take them. I refuse to let them grow up with that kind of fear if i can help it. IMO it is damaging to a childs development and teaching them about hell is almost a form of abuse.
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Permalink Reply by John Cantor on -
I am three trillion self-organized cells operating as a collective unity for improved survivability. No cell is named John.
I am the emergent simulation of an evolved brain that can do anything nothing can do with nothing, including the inability to do anything to something.
I am sitting here in nowhere, writing stuff to nobody, letting the amusement of I, ride nowhen good by... bye, bye... all there is, is I, being wrong...
I'm an atheist. I cannot be wrong.
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