I came across this infinitely stupid cut&paste spiel on someone's profile on another site, so of course I had to post it here.  It was too ridiculous - I couldn't resist!

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what...and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says: "If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."

There is so much wrong with this that I can't even--  My mind is blown.  To smithereens.  I'll be picking up pieces of my own brain meats off the floor for days.  I especially love how it ends by reminding you that Jesus is so loving that he'll condemn you to eternal hellfire if you ignore him.  Wow, talk about being a needy, attention-grabbing douchenozzle!

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Once he finishes his underwater gig, he should become the spokesperson for the 1 cent program.

That...is just sick. So God answered HER prayers and just let the other girl get raped? Pfft...seriously -_-

IMNVHO (...not very....): This story is intended to keep sheep of the female persuasion in church and giving money.

My older sister in Florida wanted to visit San Francisco where I lived. She located two low-priced hotels and asked me about them. I told her they were in the Tenderloin and to walk as if she owned the sidewalk. She decided to stay with a brother and his family in San Jose.

Forget the praying.

Best: turn back and get out of the alley.

Second best: walk like she owns the alley. Knowing martial arts will help.

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