Not counting the first 8 years (blame those on my parents - when I could think rationally I did), I have been a life-long atheist. I put that right in my profile ALWAYS. So why is it almost every message I get is from someone who claims to be an xtian? I understand it from the people who just message me with a "hi" or a "let's hook up" (they can't read big words), but from people who have an otherwise nice and interesting profile or people who obviosly read mine thoroughly..I just don't get it.

If your profile says "Christian and quite serious about it" why would you try to date an "atheist and quite serious about it"?

Do they really think they could convert me this late in the game?

Xtians make no sense to me..

 

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For some reason the post above only had one word.....oops!!

What I meant to say was, Hey Joseph!!!  And nope, not trying to attract theists of any kind, and you already know why the theist thing doesn't work for me.  You have defended me on other threads.  I'm not an atheist snob.  Just learned some really painful lessons....<sigh>

Yup, same here.  I have theistic friends.  In a romantic relationship, it's just not happening.

I've also described, in other threads, several relationships which started with a girl who was fine with my atheism ... only to end with someone who wondered why I didn't want to go to church with her.  My pattern recognition skills may be a little deficient, but they don't suck that badly.

This makes me think that, if your pattern recognition skills are bad enough to be a christian in the first place, maybe we shouldn't be surprised that they're trying to date Atheists and not realizing what that entails.
So, people think I'm trolling for sex when I try to talk to people who's profiles are not compatible with me!!?? if I only message women who are "compatible" with me, then I'll never have any friends. Not everybody is "trolling for sex" because some guys do realize that a girl should be a friend first, but on the other hand unless a man is mentally ill (this includes very religious people)  and believes sex is imoral or wrong then in a way everybody is trolling for sex, except that in conservative, polite American culture, you are not supposed to admit sex exists, males are expected to seak out sex and they are supposed to be dirty disgusting for doing so, and women are not supposed to need to have sex ever but sometimes they reluctantly will do it. At least this is all what I was implicitly taught but I'm not sure whether it came from Judaism or my family or conservative American culture. If humans reproduced by dividing in half like some extremely simple single celled microorganisms then there would only be one gender and sex would not exist but it does and most people will not be happy unless they have sex frequently enough. Religion hates sex. I'm sure I want a woman who will be a mere friend first.
Well, if you're pursuing girls that you couldn't accept for a real romantic relationship, then what other possible motivation would you have?  Aren't you the one who told me that I must be gay for valuing friendships with females that I'm not trying to have sex with, a few month back?  :-D
Um....Joe, I'm pretty sure you aren't gay.  No biggie if you were, but, you are NOT.  In fact I think a while back you were about the only one in a certain discussion that was having sex regularly, while the rest of us complained ;)  hehehehe
I'm gay as a French horn.  That's how I get chicks.  :-D
I do like gay guys!!!  Some of my best friends, and in my free thinkers group.  I'm fairly sure none of them want to have sex with me though....lol
I have a weird flavor of homosexuality.  I realize that lesbianism is unusual in guys ...
That was a few MONTHS ago and this is now, and a girl just needs to be a mere friend first, and then later or after awhile me and her will see whether or not any more or a relationship evolves between us. But as for sex, there really is no reason it should be humorous or embarassing or make you uncomfortable. Its just the way life works. There's no reason to mention it for awhile after you meet a girl who is just a friend, but on the other hand there's no reason to say you are not looking for sex and there's no reason to talk about trolling for sex. I'm not sure why women always think men are just looking to use them for sex in an impersonal way and then just abandon them for other women. This idea is probably just a stereotype that might be propagated by the media or the movie and entertainment industries. After you and a woman have known each other long enough there's no reason not to have sex frequently enough if thats what you guys agree to or else find another girlfriend and the first girl will turn into a mere friend you might talk to less or infrequently. I am sure that religion hates sex and makes you feel like it is wrong outside marriage and suspicious inside marriage. Sex is not wrong in and of itself. Its not like there is a god who will punish you for having sex. Religion can make you feel like a dirty, perverted sinner for or really guilty for desiring sex and certain basic needs.

That's good, man.  It's good to hear that you're coming around.

Even if it's the case that this particular girl is religious and won't work for you, long-term ... I wasn't thinking from the perspective of you and girls.  You can use the social interaction, first.

Well, also, I wasn't thinking that you would be thinking along those lines, of pursing girls for social interaction, instead of just sex.  Hell, the statements I made a few months back still apply.  Even if this girl isn't a good match, romantically, you need the time to acclimate yourself to female company ... and then she may know some girls who are less religious and would like you, after this first one civilizes you a bit.

 

As for the stereotype about guys only being out for sex?  Well, it's a stereotype because half of the time it is true, with many stereotypes.  Not that I've done a statistical analysis or anything.

If it's not a majority, but the minority that fit the stereotype are visible enough, that can be considered good foundation for a stereotype as well.

 

Now, after we introduce you to girls, we should introduce you to Mr. Paragraph.  :-D

I don't know about you, but in my experience, there ARE lots of people trollin for sex.  At this point in the game for me, I'm 41, educated and set in my ways.  There is NO way sex would ever be enough to make the sex good....Let me explain.  I happen to think your idea of friends first, is spot on.  It's all the good stuff that leads up to that intimacy that makes it interesting for me.  What I mean about not compatible, is CORE ISSUES.  If someone is racist or anti gay rights, then we would NEVER get along.  On the same lines I fall about religion.  I was raised catholic so I TOTALLY get the guilted sex thing.  Even though I'm not saddled down with the religious consequences that go along with the sex outside of marriage thing, I have had it put into my mind since childhood that it's my job as a girl, to not allow men to have sex with me, and then when I do, it's only to be for pro-creation, and certainly not to be enjoyed.  That kind of indoctrination from an early age, can leave you with issues for sure!!!  I'm not going to lie.  I've struggled with it earlier in my life.  Now, I wonder if it might play a huge role in how fussy I am about finding a potential mate?  Hmmmm....Maybe not....maybe it's because I'm divorced 2 times and don't trust myself?? 

Oh well....guess we just muddle through this thing the best we can, and hope we meet someone who rocks our world!  (And can handle us ;)

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