What are your thoughts on open intimate relationships? If you don't know what these are they are basically a regular boyfriend girlfriend, boyfriend boyfriend, or whatever relationship, but one or more of the people has multiple sexual partners. I myself have only been in open relationships since highschool, and I feel that both partners in a relationship should have the option of other sexual partners until it is stated otherwise that the relationship is exclusive. I also do not feel that it is necessary to know about all of the other persons sexual partners unless you agree to that or if the relationship becomes exclusive.
... the first priority is that the child/ren have safety, security and stability in their lives.
I actually know a couple of kids who are thriving with the three polyamorous parents they've had all their lives (two women and a man, who also have other partners in their lives).
I don't really think it's a question of right or wrong, it's more a question of want vs what you can handle. More of something usually equals more difficulty. As Biggie said, "Mo' money mo' problems." I don't think there is anything ethically or morally wrong with it, but if open relationships were so much better and easier then wouldn't they be the norm and everyone would be in them. Oh wait I forgot that norms are dictated by what religions say they should be and not what people actually think or feel.
People also vary as to what relationship styles we want. Some know they want to be monogamous with anyone they're "serious enough" about; others are comfortable with various forms of responsible nonmonogamy -- which could include deep emotional involvement with more than one person; which could be open or closed to sex with people outside the main group... there are many right answers! You're right that there's a lot of religious and cultural pressure to conform to the One True Model of relationships. :-)
Thanks for all the replies, so far I haven't had any relationships where the girl absolutely hated the idea of me having other partners. And one of the girls I've dated even slept with another guy during out open relationship and it didn't bother me at all because I understand the need to have some variety. By the way some of the ground rules I have for my open relationships are as follows, feel free to use them if you want ;)
1. No "catching feelings" for people outside of the realtionship
2. No sleeping over at other peoples houses/ having other people spend the night at your house
3. The main partner takes prescience over anyone else (ie if two girls text me for sex at the same time I must fulfil my girlfriends needs first)
4. No romantic dates with people outside the relationship, casual dinners are okay on occasion.
5. No "going out" with people more then your girlfriend/boyfriend Unless your significant other doesn't really like going out
6. None of your partners can keep things at your house other then your main girlfriend/boyfriend
7. Do not text or call your partners more then your girlfriend/boyfriend
8. If your significant other says that certain people are off limits, such as their sister, cousin, friend, mom, co worker, etc.. Then they are off limits no exceptions.
9. Always use condoms with people other then your girlfriend/boyfriend.
10. No going down on other girls.
11. No having other people at your house more often then your significant other.
No rule for the event of accidental pregnancy? That would be first on my list :) Also, how often do you both get tested for STI's?
In any relationship, monogamous or not, where accidental pregnancy is a possibility, "what if the contraception fails" is a good conversation to have before having sex!
You need some rules - preferably rules that tell what you want with each other, not rules to forbid each other things. Once you make the relationship into a cage, you'll both want to break out.
Then, apart from the pleasant aspects, it's often a struggle to live with another person, so if you mix in more people, you add a lot of complication.
I broke up with my bf over the weekend, due to the fact that he wants marriage, and I don't. Not that he proposed and I said no, lol. But, rather it's just an important thing to him, except he didn't voice that early on in dating. That said, while I don't believe in the paradigm of marriage, I'm not so sure I'd be ok in an open relationship. Seems risky on a few levels, and once someone catches feelings, then it probably can get sticky. I'm a bit scared of commitment, but an open relationship seems kinda silly to me, because why bother being in a relationship then. Just date a bunch of people, no relationship with any of them. Just my take for now. :)
Sounds like you know what you want and don't want. Whatever works for you. I'm for it.
All I will say is that you will pay a heavy price by having no limit in sexual partners.....Not only is there STD infections but HIV....If you say well I am careful it will never happen to me...guess again.....All it takes is one infected partner and Wham!!!!!....If it is just a phase you are going through you may be ok with ground rules...If it becomes your normal lifestyle you may be looking for trouble....However the decision is totally yours and your partners...