You'll get my Twinkies when I can no longer hold them, and you'll have to pry them from my dead cold fingers!

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No twinkies for you!

I hear they are going to sell the brands.

Now, they are thinking.  Why not pass out the profits and royalties to the employees who are now going broke.

XII Commandment:

Thou Shalt Not Cleave Thy Twinkies In Twain!

Love that image

And, lo it came to pass. The Lord Most High did say unto thee, "Thou shalt eat thy Twinkies, and verily ye shall enjoy the spongy cake like substance, filled with that which was rejected by Monsanto. But thou shalt forswear Little Debbie Snack Cakes, as thou doest with Moon Pies and Sara Lee cakes which weigheth a pound." Book Of Hostess 12:25-28

So, when friends tell me that no diet is any good unless it prohibits white flour and white sugar, they are full of the Devil, slaves of Satan?

Worse, they are infidels and apostates. For lo, the people turned their backs on these delicious, mana like wonders, the results of which story is recounted in the Holy Book of Bankruptcy, in Chapter 7.

But, yea, verily, Cap 7 is littered with the corpses of corporations slain by St. Mittens.  The story of Bain and Able is written in Genesis.  Bain sends companies to Cap 7, while Able bodied workers are cast into the pit of Mittendom.

ABC this a.m. carried a story -- just as I had suggested since the Twinkies story first came out -- that the Grupo Bimbo in Mexico, owned by one of that country's billionaire families (they have about a dozen, covering everything from concrete to telephone lines) will ante up for a takeover of the brands Hostess is most famous for.  I pointed out that, as it is, G.B. already produces a creme-filled cupcake that is twice as good as Hostess's, called Penguinos, Spanish for penguins.  Penguinos are just delicious.  Maybe they will also put a gringo name on a couple of their other delicious products, their pay de pina and pay de queso, little pies, pineapple and cheese respectively.  While touring Mexico by car with my sons, each time we saw a Bimbo product ad I regaled with an old novelty song that, as a single back in the late 50s or early 60s, sold a gazillion 45 rpm records, titled "Bimbo."  The lyrics go: "Bimbo, Bimbo, where you gonna go-e-o/Bimbo, Bimbo, what you gonna do-e-o/Bimbo, Bimbo does you mama know?/That you're goin' down the road to see your little girl-e-o."  Yeah, ridiculous, I know, but that's just what makes novelty songs sell. 

The Twinkies and their ilk can go. As long as they never, EVER get rid of my Nutty Bars. PEOPLE WOULD DIE. IMPORTANT PEOPLE. WITH FAMILIES.

The local store here has these -

I couldn't get a bigger image.  They look amazingly like a Twinkie.  Concidence?  I think not!


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