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My main problem: finding atheist men who I can connect with!

Hi everyone,

Not to sound too conceited or anything, but my problem isn't necessarily finding dates/men.. but actually finding men who are not scared of my intelligence! Just being an atheist means you are dramatically more intelligent than the average joe. I would argue that this is mostly because of all the careful study and research a lot of us do to finally come to that conclusion. Also, being an atheist means that you have the intellectual capacity to realize that the universe wasn't made for just you. Wow! That seems to take an extreme amount of reason...

I am 23, but I still feel the overwhelming pressures of sexism ... to let the man wear the pants. I was in a great relationship from 19-21 where it was completely egalitarian and respecting. However, the ones since then, and it seems those types that I am attracted to, are very intimidated by me being an intelligent/educated woman. It's the whole, "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen" mentality it seems. I don't see gender roles as evil, but I do see it as evil when men basically want you to be their slave..... :(. ugh.

Anyways, I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to meet people who are more on my wave length. Fellow humanists/atheists it would appear. My last relationship was a quick one, with an ex-jehovah's witness! Oh man, the mental scarring that man faced was just downright sad. Anyway, that didn't work out mainly because of how nutty that JW cult is! Since that, I have realized I must not settle for a "glazed eyed" drug addict. And by the word drug I mean religion. However, a lot of the atheist men I do meet bore me to death or are extremely socially awkward. Why is that?

Anyway, does anyone face the same problem as me?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dan on July 17, 2010 at 7:46pm

Or you can move to Florida. There seems to be way to many atheist men down here. And you know I like your bike Jo. lol

Anna, it is not just a problem finding men who can keep up with you intellectually, the women are in short supply also. And especially when you hit the later years. lol

Keep looking and be patient. We are out there.

Permalink Reply by Kelly M on August 16, 2010 at 7:26pm

I hear ya Anna! At least I find there are more guys your age that are starting to question the things they have been taught. But I feel ya! I'm 40, and I look very young for my age. (Was the bane of my existence when I was younger, put great now). In my age group, there are even fewer men that I think could rock my world. What do I expect?? An atheist Viggo Mortensen?? Well that would be nice, but I guess I'm gonna have to continue being alone until I find him! I am at the added disadvantage of living in the BUCKLE of the good ole Bible Belt! I feel you pain. You are intelligent and very pretty....the bar is set markedly higher for you than most women my dear! Just the curse of that bright mind of yours. You will meet Viggo some day! Don't get discouraged! I'm not giving up :)

Permalink Reply by Craigart14 on October 11, 2010 at 12:37pm

Looking for guys your age may be part of the problem. We old(er) dogs tend to know a lot of tricks already.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on October 11, 2010 at 6:04pm

Heh, cradle robber.

Permalink Reply by Craigart14 on May 14, 2011 at 10:23am

When those people become religious, they will say "You know, I used to be an atheist."

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on May 14, 2011 at 2:17pm

Mostly, the ex-atheists are full of shit. I've heard from the idiots that all atheists really know that God exists. "Back when I was an atheist, I still knew there was a god. I just didn't want to worship him."

... or something to that effect. It's freaking sad, and kind of pathetic that people buy their shit. It only works for preaching to the choir, obviously.

Basically, I guess that not all people who claim atheism really are. You never know what people really have going on inside.

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 14, 2011 at 6:48pm

On, the plus side, it does work both ways... I've met a fair number of "Christians" who privately admit that they don't really believe all that hokum; they just go through the motions to keep Grandma happy or whatever.

It probably evens out in the end.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on May 14, 2011 at 8:08pm

Eh, not really. When atheists talk about how they used to be Christian, they're generally honest about it. Atheists in the pews only lie about believing because they're forced to by social pressure.

Permalink Reply by Craigart14 on July 25, 2011 at 8:12am

It makes a better conversion story if you start as an atheist. Some Christian organizations put out instructions on how to structure a seductive testimony so you can convert your neighbors.

Permalink Reply by Nathan Hevenstone on July 17, 2010 at 1:08pm

I would do anything to find a woman like you. Sadly, Boca Raton, FL doesn't offer up a lot of good choices.

And being without a car limits my chances of ever getting to a FLASH meet-up (being jobless sucks).

At the moment, even though I'm technically "out of the closet" about my atheism (too pretty much everyone but my Dad's parents who I'm pretty sure would both have a heart-attack and die if they found out), the internet is, sadly, my only real outlet for my thoughts on this stuff... and the only place I can complain because, due only to the fact that my Dad is the Hazzan of Bnei Torah out here, I'm at shul every Friday Night, Saturday Morning, and Saturday Night, and I read Torah on Saturday Nights (I'm reading two portions tonight... Ve'etchanan in D'varim, verses 3:23-25 and 4:5-8 for those who're interested).

Sadly, being an atheist, while it may not limit your chances of getting a date persay, it limits chances of getting a date with someone you'll enjoy dating. I'd love to find an intelligent women... an atheist, skeptic, and someone who's interested in science, talking about religion and the religious, and so on. Even better if she's into the Blues and Psychedelic Rock, too, but then, that's just 'cause I'm a Psychedelic Blues Rock guitarist. :D

But it's not easy... :(

Permalink Reply by Ken Westervelt on July 17, 2010 at 1:26pm

Dude, your dating potential in general doesn't look that good. Jobless, carless, and forced to live a double life? Ouch.

FLASH never did meet in Boca Raton, which I always thought kind of a shame. I'd suggest you find a couple attractive locations convenient to you and bring them up as alternate meeting areas. Showing leadership is attractive, and you never know who you might bring out of the woodwork...

Permalink Reply by Nathan Hevenstone on July 17, 2010 at 1:44pm

Hahaha thanks. Jobless won't last much longer. I have about 20 people helping me look... :D

Carless won't last much longer, either, 'cause I'm already shopping for one, and that'll be my first finance (aside form finally paying off my $20,000 student loan... fucking private loans) once I get a job. Plus, I'm looking at studio apartments in Palm Beach, Ft. Lauderdale, and so on. I'd like to be near the FAU Boca Raton campus, if possible. Though I really don't wanna have to spend more than about $550 a month... hence shopping for a studio apartment...

As far as the double life... it'll all be over once my album is completed and released... I have this blues song called "USA Blues". It's pretty much an anti-conservative rant, although the last two verses are about religion and YEC respectively:

We're the most religious country
In the developed world
We're the most religious country
In the developed world
We've got so much promise
But superstition keeps us down

The rest of the world
Has accepted evolution
The rest of the world
Has accepted evolution
But the US has got stupid people
Who still believe in Young-Earth Creation

(that last verse is an exaggeration, I admit, but it fit better than "__% of the some countries")

I have another song called "Fool", which is a reaction to "the fool hath said in his heart 'there is no god'", but I can't finish it.

And no, I have no idea when the album will be released. I just know that, once it's released, I'll no longer be able to "live a double life", as it were...

So, things are changing... heh...

As far as FLASH... I can see why... are there actually any atheists in Boca Raton? Considering Boca is "Jewy Jewsville" (I can say it 'cause I'm Jewish... culturally... :P), I doubt it's a large group if there is...