Hi everyone,

Not to sound too conceited or anything, but my problem isn't necessarily finding dates/men.. but actually finding men who are not scared of my intelligence! Just being an atheist means you are dramatically more intelligent than the average joe. I would argue that this is mostly  because of all the careful study and research a lot of us do to finally come to that conclusion. Also, being an atheist means that you have the intellectual capacity to realize that the universe wasn't made for just you. Wow! That seems to take an extreme amount of reason...

I am 23, but I still feel the overwhelming pressures of sexism ... to let the man wear the pants. I was in a great relationship from 19-21 where it was completely egalitarian and respecting. However, the ones since then, and it seems those types that I am attracted to, are very intimidated by me being an intelligent/educated woman. It's the whole, "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen" mentality it seems. I don't see gender roles as evil, but I do see it as evil when men basically want you to be their slave..... :(. ugh. 

Anyways, I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to meet people who are more on my wave length. Fellow humanists/atheists it would appear. My last relationship was a quick one, with an ex-jehovah's witness! Oh man, the mental scarring that man faced was just downright sad. Anyway, that didn't work out mainly because of how nutty that JW cult is! Since that, I have realized I must not settle for a "glazed eyed" drug addict. And by the word drug I mean religion. However, a lot of the atheist men I do meet bore me to death or are extremely socially awkward. Why is that? 

Anyway, does anyone face the same problem as me?

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Replies to This Discussion

If that is how you think, and that is a picture of you then I would totaly date you!
Yeah, I think the same problem presents itself for most atheists. Those of us who are "out" about our atheism are such a disparate group that when it comes to trying to find each other, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I've tried to date but once it gets to that point where we start talking about religion, the women lose interest in a blink. Sometimes at the mere mention of my atheism, sometimes after a heated discussion, but it happens every time. It probably doesn't help that I'm outspoken and passionate, but for me that's the only way to be with regard to that subject matter.
I feel your pain. I live FL and to be an out atheist is very tough. Top it off to be single and wanting to date again, well, buy yourself single ticket to the theater.

The tough part is, when you start to date someone, me being male, the women seem a little dumb, but I keep hoping it is an act that they have been taught by southern society, and that once they know I want a full equal partner they will come out.....but alas, no. They want to be babied, me to be a father figure, tell em what to do...I want a whole, real person.....an atheist would be great, but down here, most are under rocks afraid of loosing family, friends, jobs if they were to be found out.

Being an out atheist, I recognize that a lot of male and females, have been hiding there true self so long that, coming out, feeling their way in socializing situations, may be tough. No real exp as a whole person yet. That may be what you are seeing.

Good luck, there are good men out there, and atheists like me to boot.
but alas, no. They want to be babied, me to be a father figure, tell em what to do...I want a whole, real person.

One whole, real person way out here in AZ. Who very much does not want to be babied and does not want a father figure.

Never understood the whole dating-a-father-figure thing. Seems very, very creepy to me.
I was that once--the father figure thing, not a women who wants one.

Of course, I also seem to have then been a "Father" figure, as well, having virtually started my own cult of one follower. Details of my personal experience aside, I'd say it's a confidence thing. Confidence and force of will can turn a gray area into an area with a distinct gradient of black-gray-white. Combined with the rather or relatively prevalent "overwhelmed, ambivalent woman" model of femininity and people's tendency to conform to their perceptions of social norms, finding too goddamn many women who want a father figure seems to be just the result of the factors at hand. Damn.
If you're going to atheist socials (especially ones starting from the Internet), they do tend to bring out more awkward people. I ain't gonna lie there. As long as you're out and about, building relationships within orgs you care about, eventually you'll meet someone who you won't be ashamed to call a boyfriend or husband.
haha true story Ken. However, it seems to me that since Atheists aren't exactly crawling from the wood work, maybe an online meet up thing would be good. Or at least just to come to when stressed out at religion. haha
http://www.meetup.com/aofuslc/ might be a good place to start. Denver's major meetup has been good to me so far.
I'm good looking(not vain, just observant) smart, well read, kind, honest, forthright and gentle... and I can't get a date to save my life.
Yeah, Robert. I hear ya. I sometimes find people who aren't "religious' but thats not enough because they just aren't religious cuz they don't care. THey don't care.... I need intelligence.. thought.. theory?? Haha, so yeah even those types bore the hell out of me. Anyway, I'm really looking for guys my age. So don't get your hopes up with me ;).
Awww...:( yea, I here ya. I'm only getting older.... :)
@ Anna -

Age wise, Robert appears to be right in between the two of us. So if we can somehow split him like an atom...

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