I've been an athiest since I was 12.  I came out when I was 13.  Ever since then my dad has hated me. [I'm 18 now!]  Even when I've been able to prove to him God isn't real and we shouldn't wish he was real he still hangs on.  He threatened to put me in a group home when i was 14!!!  I'm moving out as soon as I can, but I wish I wouldn't have to cut off ties with my family.  I love my mom and grandparents and stuff, even though they are Christians they accept my beliefs and don't push religion on me.  But Dad refused to let me opt out of religion class in highschool, dragged me to church every Sunday and made me go discuss my beliefs with the priest!  I presented the facts calmly and rationally so he gave up... I lost a friend when I came out bt the rest of them respect athiesm even though they are Christian.  Anyway!  Back to Dad.  We hate each other's guts.  Now what? He can't force me to attend church anymore, but we can't even tlak to each other.

Tags: 12, 13, 14, 18, beliefs, church, college, coming, consequences, cut, More…dad, discuss, drag, family, father, force, hate, hates, hating, hatred, hurt, off, opt, out, pain, priest, religion, respect, ties

Views: 1368

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Good point, but it's harder when you have to share a house with them.  Like I said, this has ruined our entire relationship.

Wow you were really brave (or unwise, but who knows, life happens) to come out when you were 13!

 

Now what? Is you move out, and find people who you actually enjoy being with, and then live the rest of your life. There are lots of people in the world so you don't have to spend more time with a person you really hate. It's really your fathers responsibility to be mature and make an effort to connect not yours.

 

It seems like your still hung up on the relationship with your dad after 5+ years of damaging conflict, this is not a good thing... of course I understand all to well and suffer from the same thing. Of course my bet is that you've fared better than me... my unresolved 10 year conflict has wrecked havoc on my health.

 

So basically we're at similar points in our lives - time to move out and find a place where we can find comfort and room to grow, while meeting people who have enough in common to build lasting friendships.

You're definetly right.  I hated coming out when I was only 13 because yeah, it was kinda unwise... but looking back, I'm glad I did.

You have been courageous. We admire your pluck and sincerity.

You may at least be reassured that you are 100% right and they are 100% wrong. Indeed you are far smarter than them. Relief will come when you leave home, after which you will always have your Mom and grandparents who love you. Here, with us, you have thousands and thousands of good friends. Talk to us as much you want. 

Greg, it is easier to believe in something irrational than to believe something that is rational.  Just take it day by day.  It's your dad loss not yours.

You are definitely courageous and smart.  I don't capitalize the G in god since he/she/it is pretend.  Your dad is mad you don't believe in something that he can't prove is real.  I don't capitalize christian either.  You can, of course, just saying I don't.  So let him be mad.  Be civil to him and if he can't do the same, that's his problem.  Sounds like he is a hypocrite.

With regard to your father and everyone else who is religious and won't listen:

Aldous Huxley: “The vast majority of human beings are not interested in reason or satisfied with what it teaches.”

Lord Byron: “Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.”

Terence Meaden "---but those who do, are atheists."

I love those quotes Dr. Meaden .. I'll have to use them myself!

Consider this, Eve: you've grown up, your father has not.  Certainly it's sad that the two of you can't communicate because of his insistence on his belief, but that is his problem and clearly not yours.  It is possible that he may mellow in the future, but don't try to push a situation which won't change until HE changes.  Most times, such change has to come from within the person.

Very best of luck to you!

If it helps, he does not hate you for being an atheist, he hates you because you're a constant reminder of how foolish and rediculouse his views are. If it was out of concern, he would trying to win you over, not disrespect you.

The psychology is similar to if you caught him dancing in women's underwear, and now you're wearing a t-shirt that says "My Dad Knows Victoria's Secret". Now he's humiliated and is trying to gain control of the relationship again.

I apologize in advance for making you picture you're father in frilly panties and a bra.

Yes, I suspect the people who object the most ferociously to atheism are those with nagging doubts about their own religion.

I've heard the advice that everything can and should be talked out, but it's not true. I have my own issues with my father and we once sat down to work them out and it was a disaster. I felt I had been mispercieved as this rebel troublemaker my whole childhood, when the complaints against me were terribly minor, literally at the level of grammatical mistakes. Graded on a curve that includes most people, I would have been considered a goody-two-shoes. Our heart-to-heart talk began with my Dad once again listing of all my minor deficiencies. He said, "You could so easily have changed and made us happy, but you didn't try." I realized it was hopeless. He's not going to suddenly wake up and realize he was wrong. I've heard similar stories since from other people. A reconciliation may or may not happen.  It is what it is. Go on and be happy without your dad. At least you have your mom and grandparents. Don't let him take those away from you. Stay strong!

Been there done that.  My uncle has a arrest warrant out for me in Denver for the foolish reason.

 

I am a threat to myself because I refuse to go to church and the fact I was not raised in church.

 


RSS

Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today

Donate

 

Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon

Amazon

 

© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service