Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Eve Knows on October 21, 2011 at 5:35pm

Good point, but it's harder when you have to share a house with them.  Like I said, this has ruined our entire relationship.

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Permalink Reply by Will Faithless Sophia on October 21, 2011 at 5:59pm

Wow you were really brave (or unwise, but who knows, life happens) to come out when you were 13!

 

Now what? Is you move out, and find people who you actually enjoy being with, and then live the rest of your life. There are lots of people in the world so you don't have to spend more time with a person you really hate. It's really your fathers responsibility to be mature and make an effort to connect not yours.

 

It seems like your still hung up on the relationship with your dad after 5+ years of damaging conflict, this is not a good thing... of course I understand all to well and suffer from the same thing. Of course my bet is that you've fared better than me... my unresolved 10 year conflict has wrecked havoc on my health.

 

So basically we're at similar points in our lives - time to move out and find a place where we can find comfort and room to grow, while meeting people who have enough in common to build lasting friendships.

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Permalink Reply by Eve Knows on October 21, 2011 at 6:09pm

You're definetly right.  I hated coming out when I was only 13 because yeah, it was kinda unwise... but looking back, I'm glad I did.

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Terence Meaden on October 21, 2011 at 7:08pm

You have been courageous. We admire your pluck and sincerity.

You may at least be reassured that you are 100% right and they are 100% wrong. Indeed you are far smarter than them. Relief will come when you leave home, after which you will always have your Mom and grandparents who love you. Here, with us, you have thousands and thousands of good friends. Talk to us as much you want. 

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Permalink Reply by Greg LeGore on April 2, 2012 at 9:41pm

Thanks for such a warm, reassuring, calm message on behalf of all of us - nicely said.

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Permalink Reply by Regina Goodwin on April 2, 2012 at 9:45pm

Greg, it is easier to believe in something irrational than to believe something that is rational.  Just take it day by day.  It's your dad loss not yours.

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Permalink Reply by booklover on October 21, 2011 at 7:14pm

You are definitely courageous and smart.  I don't capitalize the G in god since he/she/it is pretend.  Your dad is mad you don't believe in something that he can't prove is real.  I don't capitalize christian either.  You can, of course, just saying I don't.  So let him be mad.  Be civil to him and if he can't do the same, that's his problem.  Sounds like he is a hypocrite.

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Terence Meaden on October 23, 2011 at 6:37am

With regard to your father and everyone else who is religious and won't listen:

Aldous Huxley: “The vast majority of human beings are not interested in reason or satisfied with what it teaches.”

Lord Byron: “Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.”

Terence Meaden "---but those who do, are atheists."

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Permalink Reply by Steph S. on April 2, 2012 at 10:57pm

I love those quotes Dr. Meaden .. I'll have to use them myself!

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on October 23, 2011 at 7:03am

Consider this, Eve: you've grown up, your father has not.  Certainly it's sad that the two of you can't communicate because of his insistence on his belief, but that is his problem and clearly not yours.  It is possible that he may mellow in the future, but don't try to push a situation which won't change until HE changes.  Most times, such change has to come from within the person.

Very best of luck to you!

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Permalink Reply by Greg LeGore on October 23, 2011 at 8:38am

Eve,

 

I'm sorry you are in such a terrible situation.  However, it is of their choosing, not yours.

 

Please don't think or do anything you can't agree with - so don't compromise just to get your Dad on your good side because that involves giving in to his false, man-made beliefs.

 

You may never get together (my family has a similar but slightly less toxic split) but at least you can live life free of the bs which shackles their minds and makes them live in fear.  From my experience  and that of others, you'll probably reconcile with some and not with others.

 

I hope it works out for you.

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Permalink Reply by Jeremy on October 24, 2011 at 4:23pm

If it helps, he does not hate you for being an atheist, he hates you because you're a constant reminder of how foolish and rediculouse his views are. If it was out of concern, he would trying to win you over, not disrespect you.

The psychology is similar to if you caught him dancing in women's underwear, and now you're wearing a t-shirt that says "My Dad Knows Victoria's Secret". Now he's humiliated and is trying to gain control of the relationship again.

I apologize in advance for making you picture you're father in frilly panties and a bra.

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