I've been an athiest since I was 12. I came out when I was 13. Ever since then my dad has hated me. [I'm 18 now!] Even when I've been able to prove to him God isn't real and we shouldn't wish he was real he still hangs on. He threatened to put me in a group home when i was 14!!! I'm moving out as soon as I can, but I wish I wouldn't have to cut off ties with my family. I love my mom and grandparents and stuff, even though they are Christians they accept my beliefs and don't push religion on me. But Dad refused to let me opt out of religion class in highschool, dragged me to church every Sunday and made me go discuss my beliefs with the priest! I presented the facts calmly and rationally so he gave up... I lost a friend when I came out bt the rest of them respect athiesm even though they are Christian. Anyway! Back to Dad. We hate each other's guts. Now what? He can't force me to attend church anymore, but we can't even tlak to each other.
Wow you were really brave (or unwise, but who knows, life happens) to come out when you were 13!
Now what? Is you move out, and find people who you actually enjoy being with, and then live the rest of your life. There are lots of people in the world so you don't have to spend more time with a person you really hate. It's really your fathers responsibility to be mature and make an effort to connect not yours.
It seems like your still hung up on the relationship with your dad after 5+ years of damaging conflict, this is not a good thing... of course I understand all to well and suffer from the same thing. Of course my bet is that you've fared better than me... my unresolved 10 year conflict has wrecked havoc on my health.
So basically we're at similar points in our lives - time to move out and find a place where we can find comfort and room to grow, while meeting people who have enough in common to build lasting friendships.
You're definetly right. I hated coming out when I was only 13 because yeah, it was kinda unwise... but looking back, I'm glad I did.
You have been courageous. We admire your pluck and sincerity.
You may at least be reassured that you are 100% right and they are 100% wrong. Indeed you are far smarter than them. Relief will come when you leave home, after which you will always have your Mom and grandparents who love you. Here, with us, you have thousands and thousands of good friends. Talk to us as much you want.
Thanks for such a warm, reassuring, calm message on behalf of all of us - nicely said.
Greg, it is easier to believe in something irrational than to believe something that is rational. Just take it day by day. It's your dad loss not yours.
With regard to your father and everyone else who is religious and won't listen:
Aldous Huxley: “The vast majority of human beings are not interested in reason or satisfied with what it teaches.”
Lord Byron: “Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.”
Terence Meaden "---but those who do, are atheists."
Consider this, Eve: you've grown up, your father has not. Certainly it's sad that the two of you can't communicate because of his insistence on his belief, but that is his problem and clearly not yours. It is possible that he may mellow in the future, but don't try to push a situation which won't change until HE changes. Most times, such change has to come from within the person.
Very best of luck to you!
I'm sorry you are in such a terrible situation. However, it is of their choosing, not yours.
Please don't think or do anything you can't agree with - so don't compromise just to get your Dad on your good side because that involves giving in to his false, man-made beliefs.
You may never get together (my family has a similar but slightly less toxic split) but at least you can live life free of the bs which shackles their minds and makes them live in fear. From my experience and that of others, you'll probably reconcile with some and not with others.
I hope it works out for you.