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My b/f, an Atheist, believes I've just joined an organized (anti)religion .
He insists I'm now sheep in the flock at the opposite end of the spectrum from religion. I explained that this is an oasis I've found for likeminded individuals to share and discuss and a place to learn with a wealth of resources. He aint buying it, says my convictions should be strong enough that I don't need affirmation or support. How do I argue this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ray on -
No sheep here. Some goats perhaps, but no sheep. Convictions though? It's my lack of convictions and open mindedness that makes me a nontheist. I think he is being quiet unreasonable. Ask him what harm there in conversing with like minded people.
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Permalink Reply by Nikki Chaffin on -
Yes, I think possibly so. He's not at all fond of my social networking this I know. He says things that make it seem like he'd prefer I didn't network with anyone but him and even during our discussion last night said that I have him if I need to associate with another atheist. I think this is a big part, and he's just using his adamant disdain for organized religions as a convenient excuse hoping I'll see it his way and discontinue the networking. He'd never admit to it, but I believe that really is probably what it is. Otherwise he'd see the logic in what I'm doing here. I thnk.
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Permalink Reply by unholyroller on -
This is what I was thinking. In that situation, I would flick him off my fingers like the booger he is.....but, that's just me. You can make up your own mind what's appropriate for you.
Being isolated in the hills with a loner who surrounds himself with guns & knives and insists he is the only company you need really sets off alarm bells for me. Just sayin.....
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Permalink Reply by Dave Rogers on -
Seems to me if you join this site with your real name and photo, you are affirming the strength of your convictions. Why can't he affirm his? Is he afraid to admit to the world he's an atheist?
He should read a sampling of posts here also. He'll realize that beyond "we don't believe in any god or gods", this community is about as organized and like-minded as a barrel of wild monkeys.
And by the way,
Welcome to A/N from monkey #9467!
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Permalink Reply by Nikki Chaffin on
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I've no doubt I've affirmed my own convictions. And the way he tells it, he knows what he is and that's all that matters. He doesn't need any affirmation and makes it seem my desire for it is somehow a deficit in my character. I sent him the link to this site when I first found it cuz I was so excited, told him I felt like a kid in a candy shop, that there are really sane people to be found out there and I can't wait to network and learn from all there is to offer here. He chuckled, said he'd saved the link, then last night told me he's not joining anything just so he could be a sheep in a flock with the website being the leader and mind controller or whatever. I don't know. I do believe this r'ship prob wont go on much longer. I'm not gonna be told the way in which I manifest my convictions are wrong. Geez when I got out of a 10 yr long r'ship recently with an on again off again JW, and found myself an atheist, I thought it would be all good. Who knew this would develop? weirdness.
And thank you for the welcome monkey, very much.
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Permalink Reply by Ally on -
So much amazing advice I won't add too much except that the chance to speak to sane non-theists from all over the world is not to be taken lightly! Being on A/N has had a huge impact on my hope for our species. Sounds like you and your b/f need different amounts of inteaction with other people - nothing wrong with that - until of course he makes you feel wrong for not being him...
Cheers, glad to meet you here!
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Permalink Reply by Dustin Scott on -
For someone who claims to be an atheist aka free-thinker he's resigned himself to a preconceived notion pretty damn fast. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be apart of a community, its completely human to want that.
"How do I argue this?"
i'd google "convictions should be strong enough that I don't need affirmation or support"
It sounds as though he's attributed atheist to having religious qualities, atheism is not a religion, no god, no supernatural yet he sounds allmost like a preacher. As for the quote, i'm pretty sure i could use that quote to refer to every pastor / priest thats ever existed.
Your b/f seems like the type of narcissist i would kick in the balls and laugh at but i mean.... i am pretty mean spirited.
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Permalink Reply by Howard S. Dunn on -
He may be an atheist - but, clearly, he's a bigot of one sort or another. No other way to explain someone who paints so many strangers with such a broad brush out of complete ignorance.
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Permalink Reply by Howard S. Dunn on
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Calling her a sheep in the flock at the opposite end of the spectrum from religion is prejudicial at the very least. It suggests that we are all alike.
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Permalink Reply by Secular Forces 2013 on -
Prepare to engage suddenly dumb folks, they shun the thought of using your 1st Amndnt rights granted by a blood-earned Constitution which is written for the People of the United States of America; not just one religion or screwed up bunch of ... well, you know the score as so many do and complain about thanks to mass media fear mongering.
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Permalink Reply by Фелч Гроган on -
You need to be coherent yourself before you expect it of others.
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Permalink Reply by Tarquin St John Sh'gn'sty on -
"He aint buying it, says my convictions should be strong enough that I don't need affirmation or support. How do I argue this? "
Explain your position if you wish,but you have no obligation to justify yourself to your boyfriend or anyone else. It isn't up to him to tell you what you should or should not need.
To be blunt,it's none of his business,he's being a twat.. If he's unable to accept you as you are,give him the heave ho.
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