My best friend has caught the virus...

Well, now I just don't know what to do.  When I moved south I didn't realize what I was getting into with all this religious fervor.  So, my best friend who lives 800+ miles away in Minnesota was someone I could always talk with when things got me down.  WELL, it is absolutely mind boggling, but she has turned to the 'dark side'.  Talking about god and church every time I talk to her.  I guess I'm just venting here and I don't know if I expect replies, but I'm just in a state of shock, to be honest.  I just don't understand what is going on here--just unbelievably sad.  This person that I have shared my life with since my teens I cannot talk to anymore.  Sorry to vent, but had to do it somewhere and you guys are always awesome.  Thank you for listening!

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Permalink Reply by Robert McLean on April 23, 2011 at 12:26am
Yep! Another great example of the unifying power of the belief in a sky fairy.
Permalink Reply by Marie on April 23, 2011 at 11:08pm
Sky fairy!  Love that.
Permalink Reply by Will Faithless Sophia on May 1, 2011 at 8:23pm
Yeah just like your favorite American TV shows - like Hawaii 5-0, where the main character says he answers to god, yet he fornicates with his girlfriend. The culture of 'believe in God, any God' is ridiculous... but then faith is foolishness so :/
Permalink Reply by Jameer Logan on May 15, 2011 at 3:06pm
@ Daniel Sun I cosign that statement only to add that it was the opposite effect with me. I was religious growing up in the northeast, but became an atheist when I moved to the South.
Permalink Reply by Austin Meek on April 23, 2011 at 12:57am
I understand your frustration.  My brother has turned to the "dark side" over time, as well.  We used to be real close years ago.  Over time, though, we gradually drifted apart.  I sure miss the person he once was.  He was one of the very few members of my family I could really seem to fit in with and be truly comfortable around.  It's been really hard losing that, especially living in Texas my whole life, where the majority of people's minds are closed to so many important things.  I wish I had more to say that could help, but just hang on in there!  I'm trying to as well.  At least we have this site we can all meet at and discuss issues we're going through.  Take care and best wishes!!!      
Permalink Reply by George on April 23, 2011 at 10:44am
Perhaps you could use this as an opportunity to learn, and to gain insight into the psychology of the religious mind in general and her mind in particular.

What I'd do; just listen and ask questions. I wouldn't try to debate (at least not much), but get as much background as you can, such as: who influenced her; was it a pastor, family member or friend? What convinced her, and why?

Your situation is advantageous since you know the person well and have an idea of their interests, likes, and values.

Eventually you may need to ask more challenging questions, and who knows? Down the road something could click and they might re-awaken from their slumber. (I wouldn't count on it, or course - so I wouldn't make that the end-goal!)
Permalink Reply by Marie on April 23, 2011 at 11:12pm
Thanks George, I don't relish the thought, but we've been friends for so many years that I feel like I have to at least ask--I don't expect any change though.
Permalink Reply by paul babcock on April 23, 2011 at 11:08am
I have absolutely no advise. Sorry for your loss tho.
Permalink Reply by Marie on April 23, 2011 at 11:12pm
Thank you!
Permalink Reply by Marie on April 23, 2011 at 11:14pm
Thanks Royce!  I know I can find solace here.  I will look into CFI--have never heard of them--sounds interesting.
Permalink Reply by Marie on April 24, 2011 at 8:55pm
Thank you--I feel absolutely the same way--I don't have a problem with someone being a believer and I do have friends that are, but during our last conversation she seemed so angry with me asking me, "how can you think like you do?"  etc.    I love her so dearly and her religion wouldn't bother me, but I guess that's why I described her as going to the 'dark side'-someone who was always live and let live has become someone I don't know.
Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on May 1, 2011 at 5:39pm
I tried to stay friends with someone who became super-religious. That didn't bother me although I felt like maybe I bothered her. And we just didn't have that much in common anymore. It's still possible to have a lot in common with a theist, though, I think, and that's the important thing in being friends. It's a shame though b/c you want to have someone you can talk to about being sick of religious fanaticism all around you.

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