From kindergarten to the second grade I attended a Lutheran school. When third grade rolled around I attended a catholic school for less than two weeks. My parents told the priests and nuns that I was coming from a Lutheran teaching to be patient. They agreed only just to get that tuition check.
One day, Sister Mary Agnes was teaching about the mother of god. She kept saying that Mary was the mother of god. So I raised my hand and asked this question.
How could Mary be the mother of god, if G'd created the world in six days, created Adam and Eve, created the Great Flood and drowned the whole world and then supposedly got Mary pregnant and give birth to him? I already knew about the birds and the bees.
Sister Mary Agnes got so mad that she reached for a very thick yard stick and said that I will beat jesus into your head.
I jumped up and grabbed the statute of the virgin mary and I said, take one more step and I will kill the mother of god. She and that whole class gasped in horror.
I kept saying, one more step and Mary is dead. Sister Mary Agnes started shaking and backed away until she made it to the door, opened it and started screaming for a exorcism. By that time Father Michael burst into the classroom and he hollered. I told him either they back away or I will kill Mary. He ran to the office and called my mother. She came to the school and when she got there, the whole staff surrounded her and started to pray. They needed her permission to do a exorcism. My mother asked what happened and they told her that I was trying to kill the mother of god.
My mother came to the classroom and asked what happened and I told her, she looked at the idiots and reminded them that she told them that I was coming from a Lutheran school and that the philosophy between the Lutherans and Catholics were different and that they lied that they would be patient with me.
They told my mother that I was expelled and my mother said, not unless your refund my money for the tuition and that they accepted the money under their fraudulent means.
They tried to say that it would take 30 days for a refund and she said, guess what, we ain't leaving until I get my full refund.
They cut a check and my mother said, we ain't leaving until the check clears. Father Michael took the check and cashed it and told us to leave.
My mother was told that they will destroy any record proving that I attended that school and never come back or drive by.
Several years ago I ran into sister mary agness and when she saw me, she almost got hit by a car trying to cross the street.
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Permalink Reply by Regina Goodwin on October 31, 2011 at 10:35am I threw the statue to my mother and said "CATCH." Father Michael knocked over two nuns to catch the statue, it landed on his head and broke in two.
My mother said "OOPS" and we both skipped out the building like two kids.
Permalink Reply by Tenken on October 31, 2011 at 10:47am That is a scary story! Those people are insane. You are lucky to have escaped the "exorcism." That would be SO f*cking traumatizing. I can't stand the thought of kids being subjected to that... I just know they are going to look back in the future and talk about how harmful and oppressive our archaic beliefs and barbaric customs are.
How is it that this lady recognizes you from when you were just a third grader? And how do they explain that one of their god's supposed creations is actually its mother?
Permalink Reply by Regina Goodwin on October 31, 2011 at 1:25pm
Permalink Reply by Richard K. Emms on November 3, 2011 at 6:31am Regina,
Great story!
I was sent to a catholic school for one day a week during my gradeschool years, (a very long time ago). I remember several stories where others in the class would ask questions the nuns could not answer. They treated the questions as insolence, and dismissed them. I never asked, as I feared the oaken yard sticks. I am convinced to this day that the nuns of saint John's in Susquehanna, Pennsylvania were sent to Japan during their training to learn wielding the yardsticks from the Samurai.
Permalink Reply by Regina Goodwin on November 12, 2011 at 12:48am That is part of the entrance exam. Damn that Samurai requirement. ;-)
Permalink Reply by Secular Forces 2013 on November 21, 2011 at 7:55am the elders... blame the elders at this point. dunno how to snap em outta it... perhaps... nahhh... they hate that stuff ; )
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