Mixed Marriages: When one family member is veg, and the other(s) are not. Aarrggh!

I've been veg for longer than a lot of people on this forum have been alive. During my entire vegetarian experience, I've never had a relationship or S.O. that was also vegetarian. I've always felt that there is too much else in life, and life is too short, to restrict myself to someone who is just like me. And frankly, there are too few to choose from.

My partner grew up in a traditional Manchurian Chinese "meat and potatoes" culture. Because of over a decade of my influence, said partner eats much less meat than in the past and has healthier eating habits in general. In addition, nobody in our family eats doggie dumplings any more (it helps to have a beloved dog in the house). These are more of a Korean treat, but NE China does have 'dumpling huts' that serve St. Bernard.

I would never have made a choice of loved one, based on their dietary practices (OK, I can't handle the doggie issue, but i didn't know that at the time). Same for smoking. Drugs and alcohol would probably end it, I can't go through that again.

So here's my question - How do people handle "mixed marriages"? Do you think that you benefit from being with an omnivore? Does said omnivore benefit from being with a veg person? What are your experiences? Practical issues - food storage, cutting board separation?

Tags: omnivore, vegetarian

Views: 128

Replies to This Discussion

I would never be in a serious relationship with a girl if she ate dead animal.


I was born and raised a Vegan.


I agree with a woman on here who said she will not have it in her house or cook it. I agree with that totally.

My wife and I both grew up in very religious Brahmin households so we were both vegetarian through most all of our lives.  Both of us, however, had short periods of exceptions to this.

In my case, it was when I was younger and was trying to gain weight (I was a skinny kid), so I tried eating meat for the extra protein, but I never really got a taste for it.  In some cases, it just plain tasted or smelled awful to me, but in most cases, I just couldn't taste a thing.  I often got more flavor out of a glass of water.  The only meat-based products I could even get to like were so heavily seasoned and flavored that it pretty much masked the meat underneath and all you tasted were the spices and/or curing agents.  As such, I'm a vegetarian now, and don't really eat meat at all anymore.

In my wife's case, it was during her travels related to her job (she works in the wine industry), where she was left without a lot of options...  particularly when it came to food&wine pairings.  In her case, though, she did develop a taste for it, and continues to enjoy it.


Part of the reason I can accommodate a thing like this, though, is because I have no ideological drive to my vegetarianism.  It's nothing to do with religion (per se), it's nothing to do with any feelings on animal cruelty or a particular fondness for animals...  I eat vegetarian for the same reason most meat-eating people eat meat -- I just plain like the taste.  I think it's a safe bet that this has a lot to do with the fact that I grew up on it, and so I naturally tend to like the food which is familiar to me.  We're all pretty conditioned in this way, which is why it's often very hard for people who did grow up eating meat to switch to vegetarianism late in life.

My wife is an omnivore but she has two vegetarian sisters so she's immensely attentive to my needs as a vegetarian.  She's not enjoys having a few meat free meals here and there and she never asks me to make her meat.   (Most of the time her mother, a fellow omnivore who lives with us, cooks that stuff for her.) As time goes on she may move more towards vegetarianism but if not I can live with it. 



Look on the half broccoli side of dish, I love cooking for Just My Self, I do cook for my wife, but some tofu, seitan stuff, that she does not care for, the time I spend in the kitchen on them with the music blaring, even Deepak Chopra would be drooling and envying the "mindful" moments I give for myself once in a while. I love my wife for caring and giving peculiar attention while either going for a dinner party at a friends house "hey btw, my husband is a vegan" or new restaurants she wants me to try with their vegan entree, I know how much she cares about my feelings, to the point where she knows being a vegan and an athiest is one of the few most important things in my life. It all compliments me and vice versa.


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