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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on June 17, 2012 at 12:27pm Look for the data. Google on it. Are there surveys or studies saying who is happier? Which marriages last longer? What is the purpose for marriage? Which type of marriage serves that purpose better? Are people who arrange marriage more, or less, accepting of the result? I wouldn't want anyone telling me, at a young age or at any age, who I will spend my life with. It would have been a big mistake. I think you should have a choice. I think most western people would say that, but we don't have the experience of other ways.
I would think that a 3-year marriage contract with an option to extend would be ideal. (This must include a no pregnancy clause.)
I would say alternate between the arranged marriage and self-determined marriage. But, I would be incredibly wrong to do so. An arranged marriage is nothing more than pimping out your kids. Many of these arrangements benefit the parents more than their children. Slavery is wrong. This statement isn't changed by how it is dressed ("arranged").
Both could work. What you need is sympathy between both partners, the willingness to work together, and it would be very handy that you find out beforehand if characters and opinions of the couple match. Better also ask what they expect of life together and what they wouldn't put up with.
These are the points I checked when I went to live with my current partner - 35 years ago. It worked out very well for us.
Of course! But don't trust yourself when you're so in love that you think your partner is perfect.
Permalink Reply by booklover on June 18, 2012 at 8:05am So true Chris. Or when you are really young and don't really think of the future, you just want to marry your boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. Luckily for me, my (almost 25 year marriage has worked out just fine). I married @ 20 after dating my husband for 4 years. Then, after marrying, we waited 4 more years, and had our daughter.
But I admit it's easier when you have the freedom to live with each other without engagement or marriage - it helps to think about what you're doing. We married about twelve years after I moved in with my partner... not really in haste.
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