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Losing my virginity at 20?

now if you have read my othert discussions you'll understand my "pain" as "I" say. now im 20 no experience with girls in every category, im horny , i cant find a job, afford college, and have no car:(. see i m white and like other forms of music other than rap, but live in "urnan"/ "american ghetto " neighborhood. i've never been laid, made out once, and have never try humped or had or gavwe oral sex :(. see girls my age expect a guy wwith experience and a little money, sadly i have neither. now i need advice, should i pay for a prostitute or escort, with a little saved cash i saved. any sugeestions?

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Permalink Reply by Jezzy on May 17, 2010 at 11:14am

o____o

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Permalink Reply by Michael on May 17, 2010 at 12:04pm

By all means, do not feel bad. First thing is to not give yourself a hard time. Its not a bad thing. The only girls what would have a problem with your situation are the type that you most likely do not want.

As far as a prostitute? That just sounds like an all around bad idea, and that is not something you want on your record. You will find someone one day that you want to be with forever, and you do not want bad history such as buying prostitutes. Buying prostitutes looks much worst than being a virgin, not that being a virgin is really a bad thing. Heck, most girls I know would rather have a virgin, its the fun of breaking them in.

I had my share of flings and messing around, but in the end, it means very little. Its fun at the time, but when its over, its over. And with all the dangers associated with sex, you need to be very careful where you stick it. Also, for memory sake, the first time is better when someone you know and respect.

As far as you neighborhood, I can see the issues. With no car, its hard to get around like mind folks. I never had that issue, so I am not sure what the best thing for you would be.

And when you do get sexual active, don't be shy to ask how and what they like, and how they like it, as people like different things and the event tends to turn out better when you are both open to what feels good to you.

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Permalink Reply by Cynical Soldier on May 17, 2010 at 1:04pm

If you're that desperate, it's easy to find "loose" women and "pay per use" gals. Frankly, you're better off doing that than going for a relationship. A "girlfriend" is just sex with strings and a wife is even worse.

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Permalink Reply by Jezzy on May 17, 2010 at 1:36pm

In Utah, you would not be uncommon. You know those annoying missionaries that come bash down your door? They're supposed to be virgins. There's a club at my school for students who have never kissed. I could be in that club if I wanted, and I'm 18. I don't feel ashamed of that at all.

Still, that's not the point. The point is that it's painful to you not to be having sex. If the object is sex, it's uncomfortable to me that you would be pursuing a relationship. It seems easy to string a girl along accidentally, and to me at least that would be painful. But living in an urban area, you can find women who are looking for sex. Clubbing wouldn't be a bad idea, a lot of girls go there for fun. You might try it out and see how it goes. Escorts could be a good no-fail idea, but also pricey and you'd have to do your homework on that so you get clean, non-male ladies (just kidding... maybe. ;P). If you know a good service, you might want to go ahead.

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Permalink Reply by Sonny Mobley on May 17, 2010 at 1:49pm

Dude, my best friend was a virgin until he was twenty-one. I was eighteen, I believe. Don't worry.

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Permalink Reply by Adia Lynette on May 17, 2010 at 6:43pm

I didn't have sex until I was 19. I had not interest in being penetrated until then. But sometimes I find that males who want to have sexual relationships and can't have social issues that prevent them from having any sort of relationships. Seeing how half of the women I know have had kids with men that have even less than you, I doubt that lack of experience or money is the true issue at hand.

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Permalink Reply by Wes Bonez on May 17, 2010 at 8:44pm

I just turned 18 when I lost mine... I remember the words a girl I had a crush on told me... Always keep your chin up and keep wearing those khakis... Perhaps she was wrong about the khakis, but keep the chin up. Don't act desperate. Desperation is a stinky cologne. Past that, be yourself.

Not that I loved the girl who was my first, but I am very glad I knew her. I look back on that whole night very fondly.