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Last night God spoke to me in a dream

Last night God spoke to me in a dream. He said, “Join Islam and I can promise you eternal life”

Now if you excuse the fact that this happened in my dream just after having random sex with a random girl, in a church after a Green Day concert. Also God was next to a Scamp (a creature in a Game I have been into recently Oblivion) and Muhammad was playing soccer next to him as well while Muhammad’s wife made pastries, this dream would have been very significant.

While this dream seems laughable, I can’t help but wonder if all the “personal experiences” and “visions” people have and tell the world about are taken out of context. Maybe God appears to everyone’s dreams with a scamp at his side, or a religious leader playing soccer, but they choose to leave that part out. For that reason the next time anyone says “I know my religion is true because God revealed it to me” you be sure to tell them, “I know a guy who claims God reveled Islam to be true, I think I’ll take his word” and see where they go from there.

Now, needless to say in the dream I told Muhammad to fuck off and threw a pastry in his wife’s face, for those who where wondering.

Tags: God, Islam, Muhammad, dream, experience, personal, vision

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Permalink Reply by Shane Smith on October 26, 2009 at 1:59pm

Dammit! I hate it when that happens!

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Permalink Reply by Shane Smith on October 26, 2009 at 4:04pm

Holy shit! I bet that took many hours. I'm only a level 36 at this point.

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Permalink Reply by Shane Smith on October 27, 2009 at 12:15pm

Nice. I haven’t come across that quest yet, I'm assuming it is the same elf that buys the Ayleid statues? I think I will have no problem doing that quest.

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Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 26, 2009 at 3:17pm

I've used this argument a lot with Theists.

"God has shown me the correct path."

"God is telling me right now that your path is a man-made hoax. Which one of us is God lying to? On what do you base your answer, other than it's the answer you personally like best?"

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Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 26, 2009 at 5:23pm

"My god says that you're an infidel and I must slay you."

Ooh, tempting. How about a friendly game of Your God Versus My Bayonet?

But alas, I shall try and take the high road. }>

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Permalink Reply by Shane Smith on October 26, 2009 at 4:05pm

I like it!

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Permalink Reply by Mel on October 26, 2009 at 4:45pm

I had a vision of Darwin in the bathroom lino a week ago. It was pretty cool, I actually contemplated seeing if I could capture it on camera. Until I blinked the sleep-goo out of my eyes and the vision vanished. Still, I went to university that day with renewed enthusiasm.

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Permalink Reply by Mel on October 26, 2009 at 4:51pm

It was from before Darwin got the really intense beard. Just muttonchops.

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Permalink Reply by Shane Smith on October 27, 2009 at 10:01am

Life's a bitch, what can I say.

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Permalink Reply by FreeThinker on October 27, 2009 at 6:55pm

I've always wondered how one distinguishes between God appearing to them in a dream and simply having a dream about God.

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Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 29, 2009 at 2:34pm

"I've always wondered how one distinguishes between God appearing to them in a dream and simply having a dream about God."

Formula for determining this:
______________________________________________________________________
Do you like the message? E.g.;
"Oppress someone you don't like."
"I am blessing you because you are awesome."
"I want you to become a preacher and make people give money to you."
"Go ahead and have that affair. It's your wife's fault anyway."

Yes = God spoke to you in a dream! Praise!

No = Just a dream. Doesn't mean anything.

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Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 30, 2009 at 11:01am

I had a dream last night where I was in a college composition class with Rory Gilmore. The professor was Cyndi Lauper and she was tasking me with writing a report/essay on Amy Tan's "The Joy Luck Club."

Obviously, it is God telling me to worship Amy Tan, Cyndi Lauper and reruns of "Gilmore Girls."