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Jesus Meets "You Might Be a Dumbass If......"

Ladies and Gentlemen! We have the honor of presenting, for your mindless, meaningless, stultifying, eyeball glazed, hypnotically moronic entertainment, a base, ignorant, bottom-of-the-barrel, pandering to the lowest common denominator of the uneducated masses, television show. We've stopped at nothing, stooping to a depth of degradation not seen since Bristol Palin tripped the light fantastic with all the grace and finesse of a crippled elephant being attacked by hyenas on the stage of "Dancing With the Stars."

Maestro, drumroll please!!!

Coming to a television screen near you this August 23rd, Let's Get Ready to Raptuuuuuure!! Jeff Foxworthy, the comedian who brought you knee slappin', down home humor about family incest, country fried ignorance, crushing poverty, and the joys of white trash living, is now the host of a new game show for the arm waving, tambourine banging, snake handling crowd.

American Bible Challenge is a new game show that Foxwothless will be hosting on the Game Show Network (GSN). The premise is to pit teams of bible thumpers against each other, playing for their favorite charities. Hang the African Gays may be one, but I haven't confirmed this. An example of a challenging intellectual puzzlers is:

"Who was was helped out in a wrestling match with a slingshot?" (hint - Goliath is one of the incorrect choices).

I'm wondering if we can get a group of us together, kick their rear ends with our knowledge of their holy book, and point out all the death sentences spelled out in Leviticus that should be handed down on the contestants? Just a thought.

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Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on August 19, 2012 at 2:06pm

As an ant in the Morg for 50 years, I read it from cover to cover at least once, and the Morg approved parts of it many times. Had questions, but mostly believed it. Now, It's hard to understand why I couldn't see it for the load of ungulate pucky it is.

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Permalink Reply by Pat on August 19, 2012 at 2:41pm

One thing that really strikes me is the title. "The American Bible Challenge." Yeah, American. Because as any good contestant would know, Jesus warn't no ferner, and talked reeeeeal good - in 'Merican English.

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Permalink Reply by booklover on August 19, 2012 at 2:53pm

Yep Pat, and he was white with blue eyes too! lol

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Permalink Reply by Charles Miller on August 22, 2012 at 9:55am

What about forming an Atheist Team? It would be certain to mop the floor with the typical ignorant Bible thumpers.

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Permalink Reply by Brian George on August 22, 2012 at 9:36pm

I have a sneaking suspicion that an atheist team would not be allowed to compete if the producers knew beforehand that they were atheists. Legally, they couldn't blatantly come out and say such, but they would always find "more deserving" teams to actually appear on the show. They wouldn't want the embaressment of a bunch of bible thumpers to lose to the likes of "us".

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Permalink Reply by Michael Brice on August 22, 2012 at 11:31pm

Might be interesting to try to enter a team - with full disclosure - it seems like a no win situation for Mr. Foxworthy. If they don't accept the team they are discriminating, if they allow the atheist team and they win.......priceless!

I am thinking that former pastors, priests etc., who are now atheists would be a formidable team.

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Permalink Reply by Pat on August 23, 2012 at 12:39pm

I think I just grew a wild hair, because I emailed GSN asking how to become a contestant on American Bible Challenge. I'll post their response as soon as I get it.

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Permalink Reply by Michael Brice on August 24, 2012 at 12:46pm

Thanks Pat! Did you tell them you were an atheist team?

If it came to fruition it would likely be an eye opener for the bible thumpers.

"Hey, how can them heathens know more about the bible than us god loving folks?"

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Permalink Reply by Michael Brice on August 24, 2012 at 12:55pm

Pat,

here is a page from the blaze.com, commenting on the show and contains this quote.......underlines mine.

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/will-jeff-foxworthys-american-bible...

“We don’t want to exclude anybody and we have not. “The purpose of this show is to entertain, not convert anybody. We invite everybody to come in and celebrate this piece of cultural history and enjoy the fun of fascinating, enthusiastic contestants whose hearts are obviously in the right place – and who you’re going find yourself cheering for – praying they’ll win the big money for a great cause that is so important to them.”

Looks like they really want us!