The World's Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

Jesus Got Me Out of Jail!

Take this as nothing more than a rant. However, I had to unload on someone, and who better than my fellow non-believers.

This morning, I was in a hearing in Court on an appointed case where my client had proceedings filed to extradite him to another state on a felony charge, which carried 5 years in prison. The warrant from the other state had been filed a month ago, and since that time, my client has sat in a jail cell, unable to post bail.

At the hearing, I made what I believed was a well thought out argument as to why the other state was not acting in good faith, and in the process, violating the law. I had researched this thoroughly, and cited everything from the Constitution, to appellate court opinions, to statute law. Apparently, it was a good argument, since the judge agreed with me, dismissed the case, and cut my client loose.

Here's the rant part. Momma was sitting in the Courtroom, and when the judge ordered the case dismissed and set my client free, she started thanking God and Jesus. After she was calmed down, she went out in the hallway, with my client and they both started praising the Lord for setting him free. Not once, did either of them ever even acknowledge my presence, say so much as a thank you, or even a "go to hell." Nothing. The Jewish Zombie and his firm got all the credit.

When working on this case, I don't ever recall Jesus helping draft a brief, researching statute or case law, formulating any arguments., or so much as getting me a cup of coffee when I got stuck on something.

I guess since Jesus did all the work, I should let him collect the bill. Anybody got a current mailing on address for him?

1 member likes this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by unholyroller on August 29, 2010 at 1:39am

I feel your ire. I've often wanted to put a little sign right under the one that reads ------ ------RN that says "Jesus didn't start your IV...I did." But, I'm in enough trouble as it is. As several others have suggested, charge them double.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Atheist Exile on August 29, 2010 at 2:59am

I am Jesus' broker for all financial matters and have international power of attorney. You can direct all of Jesus' billables to me at the following address:

Buntu Adebayo
P.O. Box 7734
Abuja, Nigeria 00176

:-)

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by FreeThinker on August 29, 2010 at 8:20am

Also, Jesus is due to earn $50 million, but he needs a $10,000 deposit to get the money. If you'll pay the deposit, he'll gladly give you $10 million.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Pat on August 29, 2010 at 1:48pm

Thanks for the comments everyone. I wan't sure if I was just being a whining "sore winner." But, it really did piss me off at the time. After reading the responses, and getting a good laugh, I simply realized it was just another ingrate and his family who have neither appreciation about what others do for them (I'm sure unholyroller can empathize), nor the common manners to show appreciation.

Freethinkers, the $10K is being wired to Nigeria as I type. Fred, hope you don't mind, but it's from your account :-)

P.S. Orange, I really doubt you'd be too interested in some the "meth whores" I have to deal with. And, you're 100% right about about the B-rated movie.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Abnormal on August 29, 2010 at 2:31pm

With your type of profession can't always expect people to always be grateful to you. It comes with the job doesn't it?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on August 29, 2010 at 8:33pm

I thank my lawyer almost every time I speak or email him. He is dealing with a nasty probate situation for me that I need help with. It is his job, but it is a nasty business that requires a detailed knowledge of the law. I appreciate him using his considerable skills in my behalf.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Nic on August 31, 2010 at 6:59am

Most definetly. When I refer to Scum, I always mention, Lawyers, Politicians, and Bankers. In this case, I think a Lawyer who is not a god fearing man is an exception.