The World's Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

Jesus Got a Haircut!

I'm impressed! The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks. Damn hippie! Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy! At least it's not a mullet!

Jesus has really cleaned up his act. A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again. Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway. Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?

Well, at least everyone is smiling. They all have nice white teeth, too! Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs. How did he get those? Must be the fishing. Hard work hauling in those nets. I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted. I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them. He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time. I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

2 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on March 18, 2013 at 8:32pm

All xian denominations try to get away with that bullshite about the Song of Solomon. They seem to forget that Solomon (or whoever wrote that erotica) lived hundreds of years before Saul of Tarsus invented Jesus.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Pat on March 28, 2013 at 11:06am

Dr. Clark, would you mind giving me the cite to that Song of Solomon verse? My Dr. has me on some new medication, and I could sure use him putting his hand by the hole [of the door]? Nothing else seems to be working!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Dr. Allan H. Clark on March 28, 2013 at 11:54am

Always glad to help a religious scholar advance his/her understanding of the faith. It's Canticle 5, Verse 4.

In the KJV you will see the words of the door in italics to indicate that they are 'understood' from the context. Without them there might be a most unfortunate misunderstanding of this verse.