Atheist Nexus Logo

I'm impressed!  The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks.  Damn hippie!  Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy!  At least it's not a mullet!  

Jesus has really cleaned up his act.  A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again.  Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway.  Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?  

Well, at least everyone is smiling.  They all have nice white teeth, too!  Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs.  How did he get those?  Must be the fishing.  Hard work hauling in those nets.  I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted.  I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them.  He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time.  I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

Views: 2958

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Years ago I went on a dinner date to Shelly Manne's jazz place just off Hollywood Blvd.  A street preacher was ranting at a skimpy crowd, and all of a sudden he got right in my face and yelled, "JESUS DIED FOR YOU!!!" I muttered that I never asked him to; that the whole concept of "taking the rap" for people who didn't even exist yet was obscene.  (I was still a semi-believer then...that's how long ago it was.)

My thoroughly indoctrinated Catholic date was appalled...at ME! 

Daniel, this has to go on Twitter and Facebook; too good to not share it. You want to do the honors? 

Joan, I am not on twitter or facebook, but feel free to post if you wish!

Wow....  Jesus  in these  photos  looks  really ripped......He could be a model for GQ magazine....What Gives? Not to mention  the trendy  haircut and  trimmed  beard.....I wonder  if his  bio   gets  updated  too?

Definitely "metrosexual" in these pictures.

I've forgotten what "metrosexual" is supposed to mean, but he certainly doesn't look like a Jew from the age of Tiberius and Pontius Pilate.

I am SO tempted to print that picture and show it to my JW sister, but she has a hair-trigger temper, and weighs at least 100 lbs more than I do.  (She's also not totally sane...)

`About time he got himself cleaned up.

They're getting closer, but I think Jesus was really a skinhead.

A bit of a bovver boy.

The fairy tale changes to fit the desires of the public relations department! Did I hear someone say the bible never changes? Well, maybe. No! Each time a new version arrives, it changes. Just read from version to version, side by side.

The next version will come from the "success" beliefs of modern mega-churches!

Of course - Jesus in a 3-piece suit, looking like a clone of Joel Osteen!

Yes, it's the JW Jesus. I remember when he was only a man to them. These days he got promoted a little and if you are a non-member you sometimes get to hear them pray in his name.

It doesn't matter. Nothing changes regardless of how you pray. I'm experimenting with standing on one leg or maybe praying while holding a rabbit's foot. The damn rabbit keeps kicking and he has also tried to bite me.

RSS

Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today

Donate

 

Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon

Amazon

Nexus on Social Media:

© 2015   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service