I'm impressed!  The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks.  Damn hippie!  Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy!  At least it's not a mullet!  

Jesus has really cleaned up his act.  A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again.  Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway.  Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?  

Well, at least everyone is smiling.  They all have nice white teeth, too!  Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs.  How did he get those?  Must be the fishing.  Hard work hauling in those nets.  I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted.  I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them.  He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time.  I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

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Use it whenever the need—or anything else—arises.

I wonder what he's so turned on about - wearing those thorns gets him aroused?  He's into S+M?

I love a lot of the comments you got!  Thanks for the link.

Nice observation Sentinet, I almost missed that.

Great comments!  He looks like an actor I can't name.  Has a kinda gay prettiness/perfection.  When did he have time to work out and develop such a hard body if he was busy preaching?  These Christian idiots have been depicting Jesus in their own image for centuries. Now it's health-club/gay-bar Jesus.  Get real.  He probably looked like Yassir Arafat.

These Christian idiots have been depicting Jesus in their own image for centuries.

It's an interesting comment. No one knows what Christ looked like (if there was any real person associated with that designation). Consequently they fabricate images of him just as they fabricate a personality for God. A woman once asked the biologist Haldane what he had learned about the personality of God from his work. He answered "He has an inordinate fondness for beetles." (There are several hundred thousand species of beetles.)

Thanks for the beetles quote.  Love it!

This one does seem to have a strong homoerotic flavor. What would you think if a man in a white robe grabbed you from behind like that? I say use the mallet right away.

It looks like JC got off the cross and just got vengence against the guy with the mallet before he could nail him with that last spike! And now JC is nailing the dude from behind! "I'll fill you with the holy spirit, all right!"

You're right! I think the picture is called, "Who's nailing whom?"

Q. What were the last words Jesus heard before he was crucified?

A. "Cross your feet. We only have three nails."



"What would you think if a man in a white robe grabbed you from behind like that? I say use the mallet right away."

I dunno.  It looks like that's what the guy with the hammer was praying for.  There's something erotic about all xian services, hymns, and prayers...both homo and hetero.

When I was still going to church (when I was in high school), I couldn't help snickering at the song, "In the Garden."  It sounds like a middle-aged spinster's wishful fantasy:

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The son of God discloses

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet that the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing

Anybody nauseated yet?


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