I'm impressed!  The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks.  Damn hippie!  Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy!  At least it's not a mullet!  

Jesus has really cleaned up his act.  A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again.  Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway.  Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?  

Well, at least everyone is smiling.  They all have nice white teeth, too!  Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs.  How did he get those?  Must be the fishing.  Hard work hauling in those nets.  I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted.  I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them.  He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time.  I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

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I NEVER thought of that Sentient! lol

You have to ask them if their god had/has testicles, and DNA that is compatible with human DNA.  I mean...I have wondered for years where a "ghost" got ANY chromosomes at all, and if Jesus was the result of actual parthenogenesis, totally derived from one of Mary's ova, then he would have to have been a female.

God would have to have testicles.  He made Adam in his image, and adam had'em too.

Yeah, but what did he use them for?  Maybe he played a lot of pocket pool.


We're talking xtians here. If they buy the bible, they buy the jesus pics that look like Eric Clapton, HA!

These are great comments - very funny - Love to come here and read them.

I was thinking he looked a little like Robert Redford. 

Good point! 

In reading the first page of this Aryan Brother Pamphlet, all I could think of was the questions.

WHO IS THIS MAN? I give up. Who? Is the question multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank? Am I supposed to recognize him from a picture on the wall in the Post Office, next to that of Manny Gambini, a/k/a "Manny the Enforcer"?

HOW DOES HIS DEATH HELP US? Lets see. Oh yeah, I got it. Because he's dead, he's not going door-to-door on Sunday morning and interrupting my sex life!

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT THAT WE REMEMBER HIM? Because when he came out of his cave, he saw his shadow, which means we have 6 more weeks of winter.

Not 6 more weeks of winter!!!!!!!  Dammit jesus!!!!!

Double dammit!  I wonder, tho, how he could have a shadow.  Doesn't Jesus emanate light from within?


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