Jesus Got a Haircut!

I'm impressed!  The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks.  Damn hippie!  Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy!  At least it's not a mullet!  

Jesus has really cleaned up his act.  A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again.  Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway.  Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?  

Well, at least everyone is smiling.  They all have nice white teeth, too!  Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs.  How did he get those?  Must be the fishing.  Hard work hauling in those nets.  I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted.  I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them.  He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time.  I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

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Permalink Reply by David Layton on March 5, 2013 at 1:41am

Yet another Nazi Aryan ideal Jesus. Oh, yeah, he really did look like this.

Permalink Reply by Jim DePaulo on March 17, 2013 at 10:51am

Based on the ethnicity and the time a more likely picture of jeebus is

 

Permalink Reply by The Flying Atheist on March 17, 2013 at 11:19am

Based on evidence of his existence a more likely picture of jeebus is

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on March 17, 2013 at 9:31pm

It's a striking likeness - must be a photograph taken from life.

Permalink Reply by Larry Taylor on March 17, 2013 at 9:46pm

I wish his followers photographed equally as well.

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on March 18, 2013 at 2:19am

Send that to the Jackson (Michigan? Ohio?) Middle school.  They're having a hissy-fit because the FFRF told them that a tacky (mass-produced print) of an anonymous model titled "Head of Christ" did not belong in the entryway of a public school...so the school board took it out of the Middle School, and hung it up in the high school.  As IF that made a difference.

I think you can see a copy of the silly thing hanging in every protestant Sunday school classroom in the US.

Go to full-size image

Permalink Reply by booklover on March 17, 2013 at 7:04pm

C'mon Jim, that's not a very sexy-looking jebus! :)

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on March 18, 2013 at 2:07am

I think you're right.  Maybe the eyes should be a little darker.

Permalink Reply by booklover on March 5, 2013 at 9:15am

My daughter said something to her (religious) BFF about if there actually was a jesus, he'd have been a short, dark, jewish man.  Her BFF disagreed, saying, he doesn't look like that in all the pictures of him. Seriously.

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on March 5, 2013 at 9:27am

Maybe Mary was short, dark and Jewish, but what if the god was tall and blond?  Just saying.  It's all silly anyway.

Permalink Reply by booklover on March 5, 2013 at 9:40am

I NEVER thought of that Sentient! lol

Permalink Reply by sk8eycat on March 5, 2013 at 12:24pm

You have to ask them if their god had/has testicles, and DNA that is compatible with human DNA.  I mean...I have wondered for years where a "ghost" got ANY chromosomes at all, and if Jesus was the result of actual parthenogenesis, totally derived from one of Mary's ova, then he would have to have been a female.

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