I'm impressed!  The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks.  Damn hippie!  Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy!  At least it's not a mullet!  

Jesus has really cleaned up his act.  A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again.  Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway.  Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?  

Well, at least everyone is smiling.  They all have nice white teeth, too!  Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs.  How did he get those?  Must be the fishing.  Hard work hauling in those nets.  I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted.  I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them.  He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time.  I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

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And, verily, his "frat bros" hung his cloth in a tree and returned to yon "animal house" to partake in more holy beer--uh, water and laugh until the "spirit" sprung forth in a mighty stream followed by screams of "god, we are drunk!" Then they passed out and "saw visions." Then awoke to more mighty streams coming forth until all decided to partake in the latest offerings at the holy house of international pancakes.                               


I got the same pamphlet at left at my door. Now let me tell you, that is NOT a haircut, that is a hair design and in any big city will cost you $80 to $200. Personally, I have never seen the Lord looking so cool.

Wow!  I hope Jesus gave the stylist a generous tip!

He did. He told him "The meek shall inherit the earth, so you'd better tone it down a bit."

Sexy Black Jesus with Dreads

Fresh, Summer's Eve Jesus

Oompa Loompa Jesus

Old Spice Jesus

Sexy Bedroom Eyes Jesus

Punk Rock Jesus

On Ecstasy Jesus

Jerry Curl Jesus

College Portrait Jesus

Too much!  Sexy Black Jesus, Jerry Curl Jesus, and Old Spice Jesus are my favorites!  Punk Rock Jesus is goofy enough to be cute.  A couple of the others are too hippy for me.

Oh my goodness! It's Ricky Nelson!

Ithyphallic portraits of jesus are not unknown to the art world so you are working in a grand if rather small tradition.

Cool! I learn another new word here! CAnt wait to use the word Ithyphallic at the next work meeting. Maybe not....

Use it whenever the need—or anything else—arises.

I wonder what he's so turned on about - wearing those thorns gets him aroused?  He's into S+M?

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