Jesus Got a Haircut!

I'm impressed!  The last time I saw photos of Jesus, he had long flowing locks.  Damn hippie!  Tonight I came home to this circular:

Almost trendy!  At least it's not a mullet!  

Jesus has really cleaned up his act.  A goatee would be better, but hey, this is 2013 and full facial hair is in again.  Plus, it's nicely trimmed, if full.

I remember reading somewhere, Jesus didn't really have the Tiny Tim hair style anyway.  Something about, being a carpenter, the long hair was in danger of getting caught in his band saw or power drill and then he would need to miracle himself.

Not sure of his ethnicity - Alsatian maybe?  

Well, at least everyone is smiling.  They all have nice white teeth, too!  Another of Jesus miracles, detailed in the book of Crest.

Then there's the 6-pack abs.  How did he get those?  Must be the fishing.  Hard work hauling in those nets.  I haven't had abs like those since I was 33.

Probably not the response the mysterious visitors wanted.  I wish they were here so I could discuss "Brad Pitt Jesus" with them.  He's much sexier than he was before his make-over.

Maybe next time.  I always think of the best thing to say hours, even days, later anyway.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on March 17, 2013 at 9:34pm

I wonder what he's so turned on about - wearing those thorns gets him aroused?  He's into S+M?

Permalink Reply by michele ricketts on March 11, 2013 at 7:16pm

Punk Rock Jesus? No- that's definitely a teen idol pic. Reminds me of when i'd moon over David Cassidy in something akin to religious worship.

Permalink Reply by EJN on March 11, 2013 at 9:02pm

I hope you all took proper anti-bear measures. 

Permalink Reply by Mathew T. on March 12, 2013 at 11:40am

The new poster child for "Just for Men"? Now that's a saviour I can follow! Haha

Permalink Reply by Mathew T. on March 13, 2013 at 11:41am

There seems to be a discrepancy, here...

http://9gag.com/gag/6767272?ref=hot

Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on March 13, 2013 at 6:59pm

I love a lot of the comments you got!  Thanks for the link.

Permalink Reply by amer chohan on March 17, 2013 at 12:39pm

Nice observation Sentinet, I almost missed that.

Permalink Reply by Alan Perlman on March 17, 2013 at 9:42pm

Great comments!  He looks like an actor I can't name.  Has a kinda gay prettiness/perfection.  When did he have time to work out and develop such a hard body if he was busy preaching?  These Christian idiots have been depicting Jesus in their own image for centuries. Now it's health-club/gay-bar Jesus.  Get real.  He probably looked like Yassir Arafat.

Permalink Reply by Dr. Allan H. Clark on March 18, 2013 at 9:17am

These Christian idiots have been depicting Jesus in their own image for centuries.

It's an interesting comment. No one knows what Christ looked like (if there was any real person associated with that designation). Consequently they fabricate images of him just as they fabricate a personality for God. A woman once asked the biologist Haldane what he had learned about the personality of God from his work. He answered "He has an inordinate fondness for beetles." (There are several hundred thousand species of beetles.)

Permalink Reply by Idaho Spud on March 18, 2013 at 11:56am

Thanks for the beetles quote.  Love it!

Permalink Reply by Dr. Allan H. Clark on March 18, 2013 at 9:32am

This one does seem to have a strong homoerotic flavor. What would you think if a man in a white robe grabbed you from behind like that? I say use the mallet right away.

Permalink Reply by E Gross on March 18, 2013 at 9:51am

It looks like JC got off the cross and just got vengence against the guy with the mallet before he could nail him with that last spike! And now JC is nailing the dude from behind! "I'll fill you with the holy spirit, all right!"

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