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Intrusive religion

Are you as annoyed as I am by the religious intrusions at the grocery store?

When I visit the produce department for salad ingredients I am frequently the victim of their attempt to baptize me with their 'Let us pray' mist. Sure they call it the lettuce spray but I know what they are up to!

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Permalink Reply by William van Druten on March 19, 2010 at 1:02pm

What! You too Brutae? you have gone over to the vegetable cult?

Repent, return to truth and seek forgiveness of the FSMonster before it is too late and all the rest of us are swept up in the marinara sauce rupture leaving you back with the rootiegarbage and bok choy priesthood!

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Permalink Reply by William van Druten on March 19, 2010 at 1:13pm

Thisbe, we all must do our part even when our back hurts. The FSMonster expects it of us. Be brave, be brazen and tell your grocer that 16% of his/her customers are non-theists and resent the hell out of that kind of perspirational crap. You will feel better and stand proud even as you are told never to return. Your place in the eternal Marinara Sauce will be assured. And don't forget that you are promised 72 virgins or lesbians or gays or straight studs (choice of two).

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on March 19, 2010 at 1:14pm

And of course there's always THIS:

[which in no way, shape or form should imply an endorsement of PETA, thankuverymuch!]

Gives a whole new meaning to the term: Lettuce Wrap, eh?

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Permalink Reply by William van Druten on March 19, 2010 at 4:58pm

Oh, there are more choices if you have been good all year. FSM will open his sack and offer 72 raisins, golden or muscat, and for good islamies 72 dates in assorted colors.

So please, can we settle down on this issue and just take each our share of virgins in the first place.

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on March 19, 2010 at 5:06pm

Virgins?!? Who wants VIRGINS??? I prefer a woman with some MILES on her, who knows what she's doing to some doe-eyed bobby-soxer who may or may not know just what goes in WHERE....

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Permalink Reply by William van Druten on March 19, 2010 at 7:09pm

yes, Loren you have an excellent point there. But keep it in your pants because the contract involves virgins by law and it is your job to 'educate' them as you feel cheesie crispie would want you to do.

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Permalink Reply by Michael J. Maloney on March 19, 2010 at 5:11pm

For example...

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Permalink Reply by William van Druten on March 19, 2010 at 7:11pm

La! Such a sweet guy! But as a certified diabetic I see a trouble here.

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Permalink Reply by Tarquin St John Sh'gn'sty on March 24, 2010 at 3:43am

A mist you say?

WOW? How sophisticated! Here kid comes out with a bottle of water,takes a swig and spays ove the vegetables. He's very considerate too;I've never had a drop on my person.

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Permalink Reply by Jeffrey Doherty Sr. on March 26, 2010 at 5:23pm

i get those assholes outside of the super markets in Salinas, CA. They beg for money for jesus. I usually thow a forked hand signal at them and shout 'Hail Satan.' They leave me alone. (It helps that I am 6'2" 230 lbs of pissed off Paratrooper. no one fucks with me)

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Permalink Reply by Tarquin St John Sh'gn'sty on March 28, 2010 at 1:47am

A pissed off paratrooper?

Sounds like my DI in corps training. He was a SAS sergeant (Special Air Service;that's like the Green Berets like to think they are,according to Mitch)

Mitch was usually pissed off about something, but mainly about being a DI. As coincidence would have it,he was also about 230 lbs, although only 5'6" . :0)