Something I have been pondering for quite some timeis the idea that statistically speaking the odds of me being with another person of color who falls in line with my atheism is indeed very slim. Let me state I am in no way a racist of any kind, but it is quite apparent based on statistics that the chances of me finding true love and happiness with a woman of color who is as well an atheist is quite small. The only reason this issue comes up for me is because of my intellectual tendencies. I tend to be curious, learned, and fascinated. When I go to my atheist meetings things of this nature I tend to be one of the few if not the only person their with a permanent tan on my person. It's not that I am uncomfortable so much as to a degree atleast culturally I feel like a vagabond. It does at times sadden my heart that so many of the people that happen to look like me, share nothing in common with me when it comes to some of the more important issues I have. Especially within the sub-culture that is African-Americana. At times I feel a great deal alone and isolated because of this issue. I know for one that within the African-American community regarding atheism there are not only intellectual wars to be fought but cultural as well. Religion is so well versed and tied into the culture that many African-Americans simply do not posses the knowledge or will to break free from the oppressive system many of them I feel have not only been conditioned to accept as remnants after slavery, but some happily accept it knowing this to be true. I could never deny my atheism just to be with any person just for the sake of not being alone, I could never betray my own principles on this subject. But on the same hand I feel like such an outcast amongst what are supposed to be "my own people" that it makes it very hard to associate with the overall African American contemporary culture. Sure I know of our history here in America from slavery to civil rights to now, but outside of those anchors of history ideally I feel no connection in my heart to them. It is as if I have surpassed them and in the new area I find myself intellectually expressing myself most of the people around me look nothing like me at all. I say this not out of fear or hate, but concern. It's like having to choose between who I am internally while still trying to bond to something externally. I wish to find love and to be loved these are two of my goals, and I could care less of her race. Truly. But the thought still remains why does it feel like while embracing one part of myself I am giving up another?

Tags: Atheism, Dating, Family, Interracial, Love

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...or a woman even.
:)
Hi Dre,

You know, I have often wondered why any person of color would embrace Christianity for the obvious reasons. It really boggles my mind. The only reasons I can think of is, community, and centuries of brainwashing. If I am wrong or missing something, please let me know, because I am still perplexed by this.

I can't begin to imagine how torn or lonely you are. I know of very few African-American non-believers and the ones that I do know of, are all online. I have never met one in person. Then again, I don't meet too many non-believers in person period. LOL.

I wish you the best in finding love and hope you don't have to give anything up for it.

Maybe John's link can help you with that. :)
haha yeah, i was actually shocked when i stumbled across atheistnexus.
I joined as soon as i found the site XD.
Guess i can thank google for that one.
I think that many of us are racists to a certain degree. Your issue can be answered by an accurate perceptions of reality. It should not have anything to do with your subculture nor your skin color. This is extremely easy to say, but a lot harder to implement.
The complexity of this exists not because it is so complex to understand but because one has to have a basic understanding of reality. Most do not. They just switch from one belief (theist or non theist beliefs) to another and it is the beliefs that create the distance between us. Reality doesn't change so by letting go of all beliefs and by embracing an accurate perception of reality, we can lose our prejudices.
Just tired of having to deal with being a minority of a minority and being misunderstood, epsecially by other African Americans. Religion is do damned linked in African American culture it's a damned shame. Mind the fact there were and are plenty of African American freethinkers historically, but all they ever seem to remember is Martin Luther King. Yet have no idea who Martin Luther was. Hubert Harrison, JA Rogers, Frederick Douglass, are just three I can name off the top of my head that were freethinkers to be fair, atheists I think would be a bit of a stretch.
First Dre, a standing ovation for being your own man and following your conscience, even knowing that will mean certain alienation. All of us atheists go through that. I'm certain that the underlying reason for some theists to believe is simply so they can fit in with their community. It has to be exponentially harder to also be in a sub-culture where religion takes on so much greater importance than the larger culture.

I know it hardly compares and I don't want this to sound like a patronizing White-people-go-through-the-exact-same-thing because we don't. But racism - from all sides - does affect everyone, however much it may affect different groups in fundamentally different ways.

I grew up in the suburbs of but very close to Detroit. Of all the things my parents endeavored to do while raising me, the top award goes to their efforts to keep me in integrated and color-diverse environments as much as they reasonably could, doing their best to raise me color-blind in a world where it is impossible to do so. As a result, I felt a great alienation growing up from a significant chunk of White society which expected me to be ... less integrated. When we moved to a rural area in high school this became worse beyond imagination. I could barely go a day without hearing racial slurs and it took me most of my years there to get through to a small number of my classmates that just because I'm White doesn't mean you can assume those slurs are not offensive and upsetting to me. I'd go through the same thing as an adult in a workplace in downtown St. Louis.

So while it's a vastly different culture, it boils down to my subculture expecting me to act/think/believe a certain way simply because I am, by nature of my physical characteristics, part of that subculture. Much like your subculture does with you. Like you say, it only compounds the alienation.

And yet you have the integrity to remain your own person. Once again, standing ovation for that to all of us, but especially to those of you battling the conformity war on so many more fronts! I suppose it's why the Atheist Singles group was so necessary. There are already only so many fish in the sea. We're further narrowing our fish down to an endangered species. (But thankfully, an endangered species that seems to be making a small comeback right now).

Good luck to us all finding our fellow endangered species!
You might ask the Infidel Guy,a young educated black man who makes his living from an atheistic broadcasting system.I'm sure he can be contacted by someone on here.I listened to a very informative(at least to an old white guy) interview he had with a black preacher called "The failure of the black church".It opened my eyes about some aspects of that.
Doesn't the Infidel Guy have a profile on this site?
Why yes... yes he does.

Infidel Guy
There are many black people in the same boat as you, and many of them not on account of atheism. There are black people who have rejected Christianity and organized religion without embracing atheism. Some go for New Age ideas, for example. But this is not my main point. Distinct if not separate from the religion issue, many black people become alienated from their own communities, even families, for their "failure" to conform to narrow-minded expectations of how a black person should be, what he/she should do, what he/she should be interested in or with whom he/she should associate. Such a sense of isolation is not rare, but the kicker is that people so isolated grow up being isolated from one another, because they never encounter one another when they're growing up.

As for choosing a female companion, it's about both physical attraction and a meeting of the minds. If you're only attracted to black women, then you're going to be frustrated for some time, though thanks to the Internet you are more likely to find long-distance relationships. If you don't have a strong preference, then the issue to to find women who get you, who are on the same wavelength, and not just with respect to religion.
I suppose this really does depend on how important your race is to you.

To me, my own race is nothing. I couldn't care less about being the ridiculous hodge podge mutt that I am. Whether that comes from being a hodge podge mutt or just something that would have come to me regardless of my stock, my own race means nothing to me.

I can, however, sympathize somewhat with your plight. I label myself as Chinese solely on the basis of my last name, I have no cultural or ethnic ties to China or the Chinese, to me it's just a historical accident. Culturally I'm much more Western than I am Asian. I know what Chinese Zodiac sign I'm born under, but that's about the extent of it culturally.

I do not find Chinese women or Asian women in general particularly attractive, much to the dismay of my parents and the confusion of my white friends. (Being an Asian guy attracted generally to white girls is always a bit of a handicap.)

You must ask yourself how important is being black to you? How important is finding a black atheist woman? Are the two truly equally critical for you?

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