Something I have been pondering for quite some timeis the idea that statistically speaking the odds of me being with another person of color who falls in line with my atheism is indeed very slim. Let me state I am in no way a racist of any kind, but it is quite apparent based on statistics that the chances of me finding true love and happiness with a woman of color who is as well an atheist is quite small. The only reason this issue comes up for me is because of my intellectual tendencies. I tend to be curious, learned, and fascinated. When I go to my atheist meetings things of this nature I tend to be one of the few if not the only person their with a permanent tan on my person. It's not that I am uncomfortable so much as to a degree atleast culturally I feel like a vagabond. It does at times sadden my heart that so many of the people that happen to look like me, share nothing in common with me when it comes to some of the more important issues I have. Especially within the sub-culture that is African-Americana. At times I feel a great deal alone and isolated because of this issue. I know for one that within the African-American community regarding atheism there are not only intellectual wars to be fought but cultural as well. Religion is so well versed and tied into the culture that many African-Americans simply do not posses the knowledge or will to break free from the oppressive system many of them I feel have not only been conditioned to accept as remnants after slavery, but some happily accept it knowing this to be true. I could never deny my atheism just to be with any person just for the sake of not being alone, I could never betray my own principles on this subject. But on the same hand I feel like such an outcast amongst what are supposed to be "my own people" that it makes it very hard to associate with the overall African American contemporary culture. Sure I know of our history here in America from slavery to civil rights to now, but outside of those anchors of history ideally I feel no connection in my heart to them. It is as if I have surpassed them and in the new area I find myself intellectually expressing myself most of the people around me look nothing like me at all. I say this not out of fear or hate, but concern. It's like having to choose between who I am internally while still trying to bond to something externally. I wish to find love and to be loved these are two of my goals, and I could care less of her race. Truly. But the thought still remains why does it feel like while embracing one part of myself I am giving up another?

Tags: Atheism, Dating, Family, Interracial, Love

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Perhaps you wouldn't be giving up on part of yourself while embracing another; getting into a relationship with someone who is not of your race but is atheist wouldn't be such a bad thing at all.

Maybe you would come to realize that just as you enjoy the company of being with fellow atheists (no matter their race) you will really enjoy the person with whom you are in a relationship (and who is not of the same race as you).

What I am trying to get at is that eventually and hopefully race will not matter to you. I understand you feel closer to your own race than others (I got that! ;) ) but don't forget you are part of an even larger group-the human group. You are related, in someway or another, to every human on this planet...I would go so far as to say you're related to every being on this planet; we all share it.

I hope you can come to a satisfactory end with this dilemma of yours. :)
This of course is true. And commonality is not necessarily a matter of shared ethnic background. And then there's the matter of physical attracted. If you are attracted to certain types but not to others, that may be more of a problem than the non-sexual aspect of commonality. Since men are known to go after anything that moves, maybe this is not an insuperable obstacle, however, strong preferences may override such flexibility. Racial classifications can be quite arbitrary. Are Italians white? More specifically, Sicilians? I always found Italian girls the most desirable of "white" women.
I understand you plight.  Being that many African Americans are religious, when they find out I am agnostic (meaning, I don't know if there is a God and if there is one, he has no influence in this world) they shy away.  Then wanna preach to me and crap!  Uggg!   It's a bummer!

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