Hi I'm 14 years old and about a year ago I started to question my faith. When it first clicked in my head I felt stupid for believing all these years, like I did when I found out Santa wasn't real.

My whole family believes in God and everything and I don't know how I could ever tell them I don't believe.

Even though I'm pretty sure I'm atheist I feel bad about not believing, what should I do?

Recently my dog went for surgery and I found comfort in praying for him, praying makes me feel a lot better when something bad happens in my life, is this bad?

And last, I was just wondering if anyone had any advice that would make me feel more comfortable about my choice in being atheist.

Tags: advice, athiest, closet, help, new, pray

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Hi Melissa. I also started questioning the bible when I was around your age, but I didn't know what an atheist or agnostic was. I was basically skeptical for the last 5 or so years until I knew those words. Not only did I completely shed my belief, but I thought about why I know longer believed. Thinking alot is why we are what we are. You shouldn't feel ashamed for not believing that there is an invisible man in the sky watching your every move.

Thinking critically is what got you here, and now that you have ended up here, you can't just give up your thoughts. Many people beginning doubting, but usually shake it off and go back to believing the lies of religion.

One thing that really helped me let go of my "fear of God" completely was This site. It shows everything pastors don't say about the bible, because many of them know religion is bullshit, but guess what? They get paid for omitting these passages and further brainwashing people (many people don't read the very bible they say they follow).

And you shouldn't just believe everything this site tells you. You can and should use your own bible to check the statements made on this site.

Youtube videos help alot. You are young, but you're not too young to know the kind of arguments religionists use against atheists. Wikipedia is also a great resource. I hope you get the best information out there, and a great place to start is a search engine. The internet is truly a pastor's nightmare when it comes to people losing their faith.

If your parents are too fundamental about their beliefs, I suggest not coming out to them soon, unless you can completely explain to them what you are, how you came to be what you are, etc...

I didn't come out to my parents at the same time. I came out to my mom (about being an atheist) on the phone when I was 19, and I came out to my dad recently (I'm 20 now). They both live in the same house, but it helps to know which parent will be less judgmental, so you can tell them separately or together. In my case, my mother is the 'soft' parent, but she's the most religious one. My dad is the 'tough' guy who doesn't fully believe in the bible, but he hates the word 'atheist', since he knows how bad we are treated.

Hope this helps

Ida
Thanks Ida! That site is great, really interesting.
No problem. Just hang in there, and remember you're not alone. =]
There's nothing wrong with simply not telling them until you're old enough to move out. Many Atheists hide the fact that they've realized religion is a lie.

You shouldn't feel bad about not believing. Many religions are written in a way that's intended to make you feel bad about leaving or bad about questioning it. It's called blind faith for a reason... if you open your eyes, you'll see the lie.

You shouldn't feel bad that prayer gives you comfort. Like wishing and crying, it can relieve stress... it does this because you are in a way admitting to yourself that there's nothing you could have done. Hence, your conscience is cleared.

Next time you're in a hurt mood, just ask yourself, "was there anything I could have done?" if the answer is no, then chances are you'll feel just as good as you would if you had been wishing, praying, or crying.


Comfort in being non-religious comes from you realizing why you're not religious. Once you're sure of why you're an Atheist, you wont feel uncomfortable, because nobody can make you doubt yourself.
Once you're sure of why you're an Atheist, you wont feel uncomfortable, because nobody can make you doubt yourself.

I love this :)
Well done Melissa.

Don't beat yourself up about believing in god for years. How could you have possibly known. You should be very pleased with yourself for figuring out what many never do, and so early on in your life.

Your religious training is trying to suck you back in by making you feel bad and tying every little thing that goes wrong back to your disbelief. Religion has been around for a long time and it will do anything to survive. (Read: The God Virus)

Many atheists are not particularly pleased with the conclusion that they have come to. Religion is an attractive proposition. You will live forever. The death of a loved on is only a brief parting. Humans are special and the world is designed for us. Every hardship is only a test so we can get a better seat in heaven. Any wrongs done us by others will be repaid by god. The devil is responsible for every naughty thing we do. The list goes on.

But at what cost? The cost of our free thought. The cost of our life if we are denounced as a witch in an African village. Having to live in a world which we are never allowed to understand. It is a lazy option thought up by intellectually lazy people. Religion never allows us to fully taste and appreciate life and the church should be ashamed of itself for propagating this nonsense.

The opportunity costs of religion are high. The money spent on churches could be spent on hospitals. Scientists seem to spend more time defending themselves than doing research that could be of real use to the world. The time spent at church could feed the homeless. Poor people can't afford to eat but still come up with tithe money.

I don't think you have chosen to be an atheist. Research is indicating that atheists just don't have the brain structure necessary to bring ourselves to believe this stuff. I don't think I could believe in a god even if I wanted to.

AN is a safe place for you to be you while exploring this idea.

Good luck on your journey. I think you'll be brilliant!

Luke :)
Question everything.
Probably the most maddening part of growing up is realizing that the world is not as simple as our parents first describe it to us. May you always seek truth, follow reason, and demand evidence.

A site I like is Ex-Christian.net

Not only does the main site post interesting articles and deconversion stories, and the forum like here is full of interesting people, but there are hundreds and hundreds of deconversion stories in the archives. Reading them is a fascinating exploration into the lives of others who are going through what you are now.

Here also are two youtube videos that I like

Positive Atheism

and

An alternative to religion
Thank you so much, those videos are great and they helped me a lot. :)

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