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I need tips from you seasoned pros. How do you all deal with life's serious challenges?

Relatively recent convert here ( 6 months ago) and I am still in the post- break-up somewhat- disoriented phase. My life has a few very trying situations, which in the past would have turned me toward asking for divine assistance.

I abandoned my belief in God because I just could not justify the problems of suffering with a loving, caring and omnipotent God.

My most current version of God was formed by 12 step group think ( 18 and a half years of it) ie, the everything happens for a reason, let go and let god variety...

I realized that that is basically bullshit in the face of certain life events that are clearly not for my benefit...and I refuse to believe that "character development" was the purpose for the loss.

In any case, please share with me how yo cope with prolonged stress, and other "threatening" feelings and events. I'm afraid I am floundering at times.

Thanks in advance!

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Permalink Reply by Tom Thompson on March 1, 2010 at 11:36am

Lisa, you're a irrational, traitorous, confused person. But that's ok. Hahaha.

I hear anecdotes like this and I look at it with a sort of cost-benefit analysis. I can imagine how voicing things out loud can help you. It is possible to have a brain disconnect sometimes where one hemisphere of the brain knows something that the other hemisphere does not. I learned this watching the Dr. House tv show. It turns out that writing or speaking an idea causes the other hemisphere of the brain to receive the idea and become engaged in the thought processes. That seems useful to me.

I'm not sure what benefits praying in your head could have. I would say that if there were benefits and if the person were not counting on supernatural assistance based on the thoughts in their head then it could also be useful. That seems somewhat less likely though.

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Permalink Reply by Lisa on March 1, 2010 at 2:08pm

Lisa, you're a irrational, traitorous, confused person. But that's ok. Hahaha. LOL, I know. It's the OCD in me.

OP, hang in there. Sorry about the lousy advise. I hope things get better and I guess the best thing to do is figure out a plan for every possible scenario and hope the dice falls in your favor. Trying to look at the big picture sometimes makes things not seem so bad.

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Permalink Reply by thedogma on March 1, 2010 at 3:56pm

My motto for life right now is plan for the worst, but hope for the best. the hardest part is living with the fear, and still doing what is necessary. But I persist, even if some days are pretty useless.

I like the idea of writing or talking aloud, I think that could be helpful, to get both halves of the head together. May try that!

Lisa, not lousy advice at all. Your responding at all makes me feel less alone in the universe, and for that I'm grateful.

And Tom, thanks for the laugh!

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Permalink Reply by Tom Thompson on March 1, 2010 at 5:05pm

"And Tom, thanks for the laugh!"

I'm just glad no one took my joke seriously. :)

I find it awful when we are so critical of each other for being human. Of course we should question people when they propose dubious or seemingly irrational ideas. But I think we should be slightly less enthusiastic about condemning people for clinging to the irrational ideas and behaviors which help them get through the day without going crazy. I could cite examples here but I won't.

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Permalink Reply by thedogma on March 1, 2010 at 5:11pm

I hear you Tom.

Life is hard, and we all do some irrational things, cuz we are not totally rational beings...and if we can get through it by rubbing a crystal or taking a supplement with only sugar and water in it, then who am I to judge? I guess belief is a powerful thing, no matter what you put your faith in.

I am having a hard time not having anything to have faith in...that's where I am struggling. Its a lifetime of having an 'other' to fall back on I think.