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I need help!

I just began my journey out of Christianity within the last few years, so i would like some help and advise from people who have thought about this for alot longer than I have.

The one christian who annoys me the most is my husband. He is not stupid. He's an engineer at the top of his field and studies things like philosophy, history, science, and mathematics for fun. I can't believe that as intelligent as he is, that he is still so narrow minded and takes every opportunity to remind me how much smarter he is compared to me (and the rest of the world for that matter) because I am just a stay at home mom.

This morning we got into a heated discussion about homosexuality that turned into somewhat of a religious debate. It started out when he was listening to NPR and made a comment that all gays are going to be annihilated in the next few years. (I asked him why in the world he would want to annihilate fellow human beings.) I mumbled something about only fundamentalists wanting to do things like that and he thundered back that the world's greatest mass murderers were either pagan or atheist and that there has never been historical evidence that Christians (or anyone who believes in a god) have ever done anything like that. I was so upset that the only examples I could come up with were the Crusades and the current situation with fundy Muslims. He told me basically to shut up because I was just spouting off leftist bullshit and that if I couldn't talk rationally to him not to talk to him at all.

I was wondering if anyone could help me come up with a logical and rational argument to his claims that the world mass murderers were all atheists. If anyone could give me other websites or books to read so I can study this out myself would be great also. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

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Permalink Reply by daniel becker on April 24, 2009 at 12:54am

sadly both sides of the spectrum have committed atrocities, and in the idea of progressing their world views. I would drop the debate of "which worldview is worse" as it won't go anywhere. Instead, debate on which worldview is more truthful.

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Permalink Reply by Phillip Law on April 24, 2009 at 2:29am

"I suffered from postpartum depression. He believed that the depression was all my fault because I wanted to be depressed"
AS a clinical psych. I have to say that I one of the most self-centered things a person can say.

I like Christopher Hitchen's argument that goes something like "Can anyone here think of an example of an act of kindness/goodness a religous person can perform that no non-believer can? Now...can anyone here think of an example of an act of evil/cruelty a religous person can perform that no non-believer can?"
It's funny when you tell this to people, they will immediately think of disgusting acts of cruelty by christians/muslims/etc (i.e. crusades) before you even finish the sentence.

You can also read up on studies that show homosexuality occurs in all animals ever observed in the animal kingdom (i.e. dolphins) and that morality is actually innate.

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Permalink Reply by Rev Hellbound Alleee on April 24, 2009 at 11:50am

Hm. I don't know, but it sounds like you want to argue your husband out of Christianity. To be blunt, if you don't want him to be the way he is, why did you marry him? Same goes for him. I think the problems you guys are having go beyond political arguments.

Anyway, it doesn't matter what the "world mass-murderers" are. You know as well as I that atheism is not a worldview. You also know that being an atheist does not make a person go out and commit murder. Prison statistics show that dangerous criminals are more religious than the general population, and you can't find one atheist on death row. Tell me; if you were a crazy criminal, why would you hide your atheism? What do you hear crazy people talk about? Well, the Apocalypse. Religious stuff. What do schizophrenics talk about? Devils and demons. Since when has a raving lunatic talked about "atheism?" No, he talks about angels, demons, and devils. He thinks he's Jesus.

Atheism simply is not a world view, and there is not ONE dogmatic atheist scripture that proscribes ANY violence. Because it's nothing but a reaction to Christianity. If you can't understand that, then there's no point in talking about it.

Christianity certainly doesn't prevent evil. Look around. If a husband wants an excuse for beating his wife, look in the bible and you'll find it. If parents want an excuse to beat their children, there's loads of it in the bible. Where does it talk about loving them and being kind to them? Not in that book. The bible recommends only a few ways to treat children: to kill them, to beat them, and to eat them (Deuteronomy 12).

Books, books...Atheist Universe by David Mills, and The God Delusion are good ones. Unweaving the Rainbow talks of the beauty of the world without gods.

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Permalink Reply by muhammad amer on April 24, 2009 at 12:28pm

Athiests are less likely to be criminals because they have a reasoning mind which is an additional check on behaviour. They are more likely to understand problems and pains of fellow humans. A person for whome purpose of life is happiness canot be a mass murderer.
On the other hand for a religious person purpose of life is to please gods. For him people belonging to other religons or the non-believers are insane. Even believers who are not exactly in line with their version of religon are punishable.
In my part of world we are wittnessing from murders to grave human rights abuses of all kinds on the name of God by Taliban(Army of God). Ask your Husband what he thinks about 911 and Taliban and suiside bombers?
Also ask him for what reasons Palestinians and Isreales kill each others children.

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Permalink Reply by BlueJeanGirl on April 25, 2009 at 4:29pm

"Hm. I don't know, but it sounds like you want to argue your husband out of Christianity. To be blunt, if you don't want him to be the way he is, why did you marry him? Same goes for him. I think the problems you guys are having go beyond political arguments."

First, I don't want to argue my husband out of Christianity. He can be anything he wants as long as he stops attacking me and my mother for our lack of belief. Secondly, when my husband and I married, we were both oneness pentecostals. He was the one who talked me out of that church. He had left that particular church long before I did and yes, our problems go much deeper than a political argument.

We have been together for nearly 10 years and all this time all I said was "yes, dear, you're right" and then dropped it every time we disagreed on something. He has become increasingly nasty to me over the years telling me that I am a drama queen, irrational, and a whole host of other ugly things. I apologize for turning this into a discussion on my marriage, that was not my intent. I just wanted help in perfecting my argument.

Having an opinion of my own is still new to me. Growing up, I was pretty much taught that that was not proper behavior for a godly young woman. I can't be that way anymore. Thanks everyone for your help. I appreciate it greatly.

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Permalink Reply by HotMess on April 25, 2009 at 5:16pm

Hey, Girl - Sorry if people got a little too harsh here! We all wish the best for you and hope that we can help you find your way.
I'm afraid that many of the people on this site don't realize that women are still being raised in this lifestyle, so perhaps your story will raise a little consciousness around here about the very real difficulties of leaving a dogma-controlled lifestyle, and living with a religious partner.
I hope this helps.
Dianna

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Permalink Reply by Фелч Гроган on April 25, 2009 at 8:38pm

Again, it sounds like you don't need advice from us, just reinforcement. You have an inner voice talking to you. Its up to you if you listen.

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Permalink Reply by Фелч Гроган on April 25, 2009 at 9:32pm

Just send beer and pornography.

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Permalink Reply by muhammad amer on April 27, 2009 at 4:35am

To my judgment felch is most reasonable voice among all comments. Not to be harsh respected lady don't need advice. She knows her problem. It may be financial dependence, children or some other personal reason that she is lacking the will to take decesion.

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Permalink Reply by Larry on April 29, 2009 at 1:15pm

Do the Crusades or Spanish inquisition count as mass murder?

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Permalink Reply by John D on November 4, 2009 at 8:08am

Hi BlueJeanGirl -

Sorry to hear you have such a conflict at home.

Maybe you can shift the way you and your hubby talk about this subject. Perhaps you can tell him that as his wife he should show you some respect. In return you will show him respect as well. This may mean that you keep your differences on this subject off limits. This may not be ideal, but it may be a practical option.

It sounds to me like you will have to live with your differences. What do you think?

Look at what works well in your relationship. Is he a good father? Do you share goals in your life together such as raising children, saving for the future, building a home? If these things are working for you and your husband then you have a reason to work at getting along.

Good luck!