Well what do you think will happen to you if you tell your parents?
Cos the rule of thumb I would say is if it leads to violence or to any kinds of threats or mistreatment or a general increase in trouble don't do it. 4 years and you'll be 18 and can be much more independant.
However I want to encourage you so on the other hand if you can go to them and say "I don't want to get confirmed." and answer the inevitable "why" with 'I've thought about it a lot and I don't believe in god' and give your reasons for why, and say I'm only 14, I know but I don't want this and I hope you can support my decision because I don't want to do something dishonestly.
Don't worry about the friends of friends. I don't want you to loose them but at the same time what is more important their feelings or yours?
Let us know how it goes....
What to do ? well do the research, keep exploring, and let your parents see that you are actively thinking about their beliefs. They will think that the research is brining you 'closer to god', you will get more evidence to move away....
Also if they ask, you could use the logic that as you are uncertain it would be hypocritical to make a public declaration one way or another (assuming you havent said outright that you are an athiest.).
The 'confused' teenager is easier for them to explain to their peers than an athiest, so let them take that option for a while. Dont forget that your unbelief is not just about you, it is also about your parents status as good parents who produce good little christian children.
I am almost 27 and I still have not come out as an atheist to most people. Unless I think I can use reason to at least influence someone's mind about theism for their personal benefit, I usually just let people assume I am a Christian or whatever. Of course, if people ask me my beliefs, then they have opened up the conversation to a lot then. I wish it was not this way, but in the Deep South it's a matter of adaptation and survival. Telling my parents that I am an atheist will not influence their beliefs, it will not help them and in fact it will do them unnecessary emotional harm. So on that end, you have to be responsible.
But I also believe in being honest. I think you should tell your parents you do not want to go through this ritual (but like the poster before, only if it will not cause you any harm, and if that's the case then you should consider contacting your local child welfare agency if the harm can be serious!). Whether or not you give them the details about your atheism is up to you, perhaps you could just sum it up by saying that you want to give it more time to think about or that you do not feel that you meet the level of commitment required to proceed with the ritual. Or you can just spill your guts and tell them what the poster above said. At any rate, I'd give yourself as much time as possible to think about how to proceed.
I'm open with my friends about my atheism. And if a theist friend of mine decides to debate the issue with me, I mercilessly argue the case. I guess that sort of makes me a closeted evangelical atheist. But I see no reason to tell my parents the whole story. They know I don't go to church and perhaps they can read between the lines. And when a well-meaning soul invites me to church, I thank them for the invitation and just explain that I have other obligations around that time. If they press the issue then I allow myself to be a militant disbeliever with them. Oh and if they are some random evangelical I don't know personally, I hit them with reason as hard as they can be hit with it before they give up and leave.
So think of the possible consequences of your actions. Be honest, but be responsible.