"Yes, not everyone thanks a deity for their survival and nobody should thank their god for a vicious tornado that wiped out so much of what people owned and even took lives, especially the lives of innocent children.
Brandi Amari Williams"
 |
The World's Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!
I had to lie
I'm a nurse. Last night, a very frightened 91 year old woman who had a fracture in her spine was crying and praying that she would heal and not die from this. She asked me point blank if I believed in god. I lied and said yes.
Its still bothering me. I felt violated in a way, having to lie but what else could I have done? She was very sharp mentally, and obviously struggling with her faith, asking me why god was letting her suffer in pain. I tried to change the subject and reassure her that she would get better from this and that was the truth, which it is. She was actually feeling sicker than she is.. Still, did I do the right thing? I still feel like such a traitor to myself and I know I'm going to be faced with this again, some time. Though I hate discussing my personal beliefs with patients, they often ask me what I believe.
Its still bothering me. I felt violated in a way, having to lie but what else could I have done? She was very sharp mentally, and obviously struggling with her faith, asking me why god was letting her suffer in pain. I tried to change the subject and reassure her that she would get better from this and that was the truth, which it is. She was actually feeling sicker than she is.. Still, did I do the right thing? I still feel like such a traitor to myself and I know I'm going to be faced with this again, some time. Though I hate discussing my personal beliefs with patients, they often ask me what I believe.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Gary Connolly on -
I see no major harm in that lie. At 91 it seems unlikely that she is going to have a sudden conversion to reason. Even if she was going to, from the circumstances she was in at that moment it seems to me that she just wanted reassurance. I don't think you were being a traitor to your beliefs. I think you were being a kind and decent person, who was willing to put exercising her pride and right to express her beliefs aside to comfort and old woman. There is a time and a place for the expressing of our beliefs and while I would not expressly condemn someone for being honest with the woman in that circumstance, I personally prefer to see people acting with compassion. I am vehemently anti-religious most of the time but I don't see the need to really harm someone either. It is a matter of circumstances and I for one think you acted with conscience.
-
Permalink Reply by Becca on -
In my opinion there was nothing wrong with what you did, your intentions were noble. In similar situations I've personally always first tried to change the subject/skirt the issue even if they ask me point blank. If they continue to press me about it, depending on the situation, I either tell them I am uncomfortable discussing it with them or I tell them the truth.
-
Permalink Reply by LeeLah on -
It is done so no worries. I understand how you feel and I tried to imagine what I would do and I would like to think that I could maintain and tell her that I did not believe but I am not sure I could. You only wanted to comfort someone in pain and there is nothing wrong with telling her a lie it was the humane thing to do. Think of it this way if she were asking you anything else about her condition what would have told her in order to keep her calm? I know that sometimes medical personnel will lie to a patient in order to keep them from freaking out and possibly harming themselves even further. This is really not much different, at least to me.
-
Permalink Reply by Louis on -
When you're in that situation when the last thing a person needs to hear is that everything they know about the universe is wrong -- it's ok to lie. You know it's not true, you're not trying to convince her it's true, you're just reinforcing a misconception that that woman really needed reinforced to get through her pain.
It is a bit of a moral quandary, but I would have done the same thing.
-
Permalink Reply by Jack Matirko on -
I don't thing it's so bad. I mean mental attitude is an important part of healing, so shattering her belief system at such a time probably isn't in keeping with the Hippocratic oath. Even though she's going to get better, I'm reminded of that scene from The Invention of Lying.
Lies can be comforting. The only downside is that when she recovers she'll likely attribute her recovery to god and not to the doctors who actually did the work. That's unfortunate but it was a very delicate situation.
Worry less about right and wrong, you did the compassionate thing.
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- Next ›
CONNECT WITH ATHEIST NEXUS
Latest Activity
- Top News
- Everything
sk8eycat commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends"Tony, I love that clip! "Wolf Gets Blitzed"...tee-hee.
Did anyone read the comments below the You Tube version? they were almost all like, "Yeah, thank the lard for sending a ghastly tornado to kill more than 50…"
The Flying Atheist commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends"Great clip, Tony. People need to realize that not everybody superfluously and automatically thanks god in a time of crisis. Maybe he's learned a lesson and become a smarter man. "
Natalie A Sera commented on Dallas the Phallus's group LINGUAPHILES & SESQUIPEDALIANS"And then, just to confuse things, there's polymath, which is from the Greek poly = much and manthanein = to learn. So, someone who knows a lot. Or at least enough to know that you can get a second crop from that field! Sorry, couldn't…"
Patricia commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends"Yaaaay Joan!!!
Yaaaay here too.....our exterior renos start Wednesday!!!!"
Tony Carroll commented on Ruth Anthony-Gardner's group Hang With Friends"
Wolf Blitzer. Open mouth, insert foot. LOL!!!"
Photos
© 2013 Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.
