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Permalink Reply by Louis on July 22, 2009 at 11:12am

Why a priest and not a counselor is helping him with his repressed issues baffles me.

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Permalink Reply by Jared on July 22, 2009 at 11:17am

I second this.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Rogers on July 22, 2009 at 12:25pm

I probed a little one time and it was something about his father abusing him when he was a kid. I don't really know how much BS it was. Every chance I gave him I implied he needed real medical/psychiatric help, but he kept going back to the priest. I think because the priest really didn't force/press him to quit. Probably kept forgiving him instead and absolving his sins. I swear the time he brought the priest in, he was drunk at that very moment.

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Permalink Reply by JayBarti on July 22, 2009 at 12:43pm

Sounds like he has some serious personal issues that should be dealt with. I went though something similar when I broke up with my ex-wife. My boss called me on it and asked me what I would do in his situation. It was a nice little wake up call to stop messing about and drifting around in self-denial and deal with the issues at hand.

This is the problem I find is that most addicts want simple solutions and absolution, that its not their fault for the way they are and are there for forgiven for what happened to them. At some point they have to deal with the root cause of the issue or they will never move forward in the treatment.

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Permalink Reply by Kitty on July 22, 2009 at 12:52pm

Dave,
First let me tell you I'm sorry you had to fire somebody. That is a hard and rotten thing to have to go through, and I sympathize. There was nothing else you could do. This is a very real consequence for his refusal to seriously tackle his problem. You don't have that tattoo, but you would have had you let him stay.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Rogers on July 22, 2009 at 1:41pm

Thanks. I actually hired him over two years ago and for first 1.5 years he was a model employee. I gave him the biggest raise that first year on how he quickly filled the position. He then just fell off the wagon last winter and it all went downhill from there.

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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on July 22, 2009 at 2:15pm

Dave,

I have that same tattoo. Damn - the artist told me it was unique!

Having a priest counsel someone with repressed issues from their youth sounds like having a fox counsel chickens on their fear of canines.

"I can't have someone passed out at his desk, drinking on the job, babbling incoherently, or hurting himself or others. " - that is key. plus, there is someone out there who needs the job, just as much, and deserves a change to prove themselves and earn a living.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Rogers on July 22, 2009 at 2:46pm

After the last episode, I had another person in-house, who had basically run out of the project they were on, cross-train so he can move right in, today even, and keep the job going. I'm even a nice enough guy so that if the alcoholic tries to collect unemployment, he could. Hopefully it will give him the time to seek real treatment.

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Permalink Reply by Robert J. Bowlin on July 24, 2009 at 12:24am

The problem is, priests meet two needs, they are free and available. Proper care often requires money and an exceptional understanding of "the system". Once diagnosed, a person will often be prescribed medication, which can be another large some of money. Not to mention there is still a stigma around seeing a psychologist, while seeing your priest is seen as a positive solution to ones problems.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Rogers on July 24, 2009 at 10:23am

The money might have been part of it. I'm not sure if and what co-payment he would have had to make for treatment. Throw in that he was a far right-wing type, listening to the likes of Limbaugh and Hannity all day, there probably was a big stigma in seeing a psychologist. I bet that seems so "liberal" to some right-wingers.

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Permalink Reply by Tarquin St John Sh'gn'sty on July 24, 2009 at 4:10am

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I admire your patience and compassion.

It's sad,but you are not responsible for his life. He is.

Sounds if you were being bullshitted to big time. Most priests would cart him off to AA,and not even try to address the issue without a lot of other support,including medical.The priest may be simply ignorant about alcoholism,or a complete moron. It's also likely your alkie has been lying through his teeth to you, the priest and himself.

His chances of long term recovery are well under 5%.-WITH a committed decision to stop,and acceptance of any help he can get his hands on. That " we're working on issues" [while he continues to drink) is complete bullshit. NO rehab system tolerates that.


You behaved most honourably my opinion

Me? Sober 7 years 3 weeks 3 days.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Rogers on July 24, 2009 at 10:29am

Thanks. And good for you! I had a major pot problem 25 to 30 years ago and finally got totally clean when my wife wanted to get pregnant with our son about 12 years ago now. I really don't miss it, although it did give me some empathy towards my employee.

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