last semester. i feel happy & im confident about myself. im not really atheist. im more of agnostic and secular but now, i feel alone. im here in our house all day. by next sem i will study again. every time, i saw my friends that have career and lovelife. i feel down. it is the reason that's why my confidence started to fade. im in early twenties. i should have work at my age but my depression made me late to understand life.
any advice about my situation?
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Permalink Reply by David Raphael on December 6, 2011 at 2:39pm 1. You won't ever be happy by trying to 'fit in' for the sake of it.
2. You think you're late understanding life by your 20s? ha. You'll be 100 years old and not really understand life yet. It's an ongoing process and the answers come very slowly. And it's OK if you don't know the answers; that's fine. It's ok to say 'I don't know'. In fact, be wary of people who DO say they know.
3. Careers and love lives do not equate happiness.
Buddhists say "If you're alone and have no job then you suffer from 'alone/no job stress'. When you get a job and a partner you suffer from 'job and partner stress'.
If you're unhappy you need to resolve the deep rooted causes otherwise you will just carry your unhappiness from one state to the next like a big backpack full of crap.
"Follow your bliss"
-Joseph Campbell.
It's the only way you will ever be happy. Be true to yourself and don't compare yourself with others. You have as much a clue about life as anyone else...
Permalink Reply by violet cleonstar on December 6, 2011 at 2:53pm thank you for the advice. i really appreciate it. im tired in advice that God is knock in your heart today. be happy that you feel sad. believe in God. im not against in theist. it just, they are not logical sometimes especially when it comes to emotional problem.
Permalink Reply by David Raphael on December 6, 2011 at 3:06pm For me, theists really aren't logical about any of the important questions.
One thing I can assure you of is that, no matter how bad you feel, it's temporary. It will pass, even it takes some time.
Trust yourself. And always keep asking questions.
Permalink Reply by violet cleonstar on December 6, 2011 at 3:10pm thank you for the support. it gives me strength now that i feel so down. thank you again :)
Permalink Reply by violet cleonstar on December 7, 2011 at 7:58am thanks :)
Permalink Reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on December 6, 2011 at 4:33pm Dude, do you want to settle for a facade, pretend friendship that rejects who you really are? Be true to yourself, and to truth itself, and you can find connection. *Sigh* I know us atheists aren't well organized yet, but please try to hook up with your local atheist meetup, or start one in your area. Come out as an atheist in social networks and dating sites. You're contemplating cutting off your authentic foundation for relationships built on submission to a memeplex. To me that's like cutting off your own head. *shudder*
Permalink Reply by Gila Guerilla on December 6, 2011 at 7:39pm Finding the truth about the origins of the universe, the truth about the existence of deities have never been an exercise in what makes me feel good, or what comforts me, or what provides me with benefits. The truth is an ideal to be sought on other grounds, and any fallout in terms of feeling good about it, gaining comfort or obtaining benefit are of no primary importance.
Be it pleasing or unpleasant, this fallout should at least be the best guide on how to view the universe, it's true possibilities, and to decide how to live life - assuming that it is the truth has been found in the end.
Permalink Reply by Jonathan Christie on December 13, 2011 at 4:55am Hi Asking, I dont know if this will help but I was in a bad place in my life before and this actually really helped, it seems like it has nothing to do with happiness but I gave it a shot and now generally im in a good mood, when Im not in a good place I put myself there:)
http://www.livestrong.com/article/14698-accepting-personal-responsi...
let me know if it helps:)
Permalink Reply by Sandi on December 13, 2011 at 5:58am Firstly, don't compare yourself to others. Seeing that your friends have a career or a relationship does not guarantee happiness for them either. Learn to compare yourself to yourself, we are all different and we require different things to make us happy.
It sounds like you are more bored than anything else and boredom can relate to depression. Work on things that interest you whether it be joining groups like this and interacting or studying a topic that interests you. Don't just sit around brooding about things, keep your mind occupied.
Society puts pressure on us to get married, have a picket fence, work a meaningful job and you should achieve these things at a certain age but reality is different. We can't always shape our lives the way others want and nor should we. Find what it is inside you that YOU really want and not what you THINK you want.
Just by posting this little message here, you have found strangers who care for you and understand how you feel. We have all been there and we pull ourselves through. See, the world ain't so bad after all ;-)
Permalink Reply by Madhukar Kulkarni on December 13, 2011 at 11:10am Why are you an agnostic? How did you reach there? Did you have any instructer?
You are close to becoming an atheist. If you have travelled so far on the strength of your own capability, do a little more effort and do not stop where you are. Remaining in doubt can not bring peace to your mind. You need to take courage. You say you are confident, then why the depression? Don't shy away from the life of a young man. You have time on your side. It takes a rational mind to be secular and agnostic. You appear to posses that. You have nothing to be depressed. Go ahead with life and think!
MADHUKAR KULKARNI.
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